Dumbest Horror Game Protagonists, Ranked

As a seasoned gamer with years of experience under my belt, I must say that these three characters are truly a testament to the saying “ignorance is bliss.

If there’s one trope that’s been criminally overdone in horror media, it’s the dumb character trope. There really are laughably idiotic characters in the horror genre, both in film and video games — but especially video games — and it can be painful to watch as protagonists throw themselves head-first into a dangerous scenario or follow a cryptic message that will no doubt lead them to certain doom (looking at you, James Sunderland). It’s sad, really, but some horror protagonists just weren’t designed to be the brightest bulb in the bunch, as their characteristic foolishness lands them in all kinds of trouble, during which they make some of the worst decisions imaginable.

While not every one of them can be labeled as inherently foolish, certain actions of theirs have contributed significantly to their infamous reputation. Despite their questionable decision-making skills, these horror protagonists remain endearing figures in the genre.

Spoiler Alert: Major story spoilers are included for some of the games on this list.

8 Miles Upshur (Outlast)

Cryptic Emails Are Not An Invitation

It certainly wasn’t Miles’ finest moment; after receiving an ominous email informing him of some illegal experiments being conducted at Mount Massive Asylum, his initial thought was, “Let me investigate that alone, without telling anyone where I’m going.” Granted, Miles is a freelance journalist by trade and therefore extremely opportunistic and a bit of a glory hound, so he wants to hop on this scoop before the news breaks to all the major tabloids. However, Miles arrives at Mount Massive Asylum to find the mutilated corpses of the faculty and encounters several deranged inmates who are incredibly hostile toward outsiders.

Instead of beating a hasty retreat like any sensible gamer would, I chose to delve deeper into that mysterious game world, little did I know it would cost me two fingers and my peace of mind. And boy, did I get more than I signed up for! The character I was controlling, the Walrider, found itself a new player, leaving me in the same predicament as those very test subjects I aimed to expose. If only I had tossed that suspicious email into the trash or reported it to the gaming authorities, but no, my curiosity got the better of me.

7 Daniel (Amnesia: The Dark Descent)

Self-Inflicted Amnesia Doesn’t Make Everything Go Away

Daniel is not only beyond redemption; he’s also quite dim-witted, a combination that certainly doesn’t flatter him. Despite his complexity as a character in the Amnesia series, especially in Amnesia: The Dark Descent, his decisions often leave much to be desired. He was under Alexander’s influence when he committed his terrible crimes, but instead of accepting his guilt and shame, Daniel chose to erase his own memories. Upon waking, he remembers only his name, location, and the fact that he’s being pursued. Most sensible individuals would prioritize escaping over exploring a haunting castle; however, Daniel, driven by curiosity, delves deeper into Castle Brennenberg in search of some alleged conspiracy linked to Alexander.

It transpired that his predicament was far more dire than he had initially anticipated, and given the chain of events, Daniel should have walked away at that point. Yet, just as before, allowing himself to be ensnared by Alexander’s machinations, he found himself in the same precarious situation again. It would be ideal for Amnesia: The Dark Descent to introduce a trophy called “Just flee!” that rewards Daniel for swiftly exiting the scene and avoiding Alexander’s manipulations entirely.

6 James Sunderland (Silent Hill 2)

Very Dead Wife Is Still Very Dead

Once more, those cryptic hints. James Sunderland demonstrates an uncanny knack for self-preservation and survival instincts, yet street cunning doesn’t always outmatch academic knowledge. After exchanging messages with his undoubtedly deceased wife, a fact he is certain of, James chooses to venture to the secluded town of Silent Hill. This, despite having been there when Mary breathed her last and witnessing her cold, lifeless body, he still considers meeting Mary in the wilderness as a viable option. And then, he displays astonishing naivety when he enters Silent Hill and encounters it teeming with grotesque creatures. Honestly, James?

He has the best intentions, certainly, and there’s no mistaking that his heart is in the right place. He’s riddled with guilt over Mary’s death and desperate to see her again, as any grieving husband would be. He does end up coming face-to-face with Mary for some closure, but it isn’t worth the hassle of confronting Pyramid Head and solving mind-numbing puzzles. All of this could have been easily avoided if he had just communed with ghosts the old-fashioned way and used a Ouija board.

5 Ashley Graham (Resident Evil 4)

Run Away From The Traps, Not At Them

In the game Resident Evil 4, Ashley Graham isn’t the main character, but she does have playable sections and plays a significant role in driving the story forward. However, she can be quite frustrating at times, as it seems like she gets captured frequently during Leon’s adventure. She reminds one of Daphne from Scooby-Doo, except without the benefit of having characters like Shaggy or Scooby to make her seem less foolish by comparison. Despite this, Ashley is a valuable addition to Leon’s journey, even if she can be a bit slow on the uptake. Throughout the game, Leon must protect Ashley during combat situations, but her tendency to reject help and run into traps doesn’t exactly make his job easier.

Throughout the game Resident Evil 4, Leon encounters Ashley multiple times. By the end of the game, he’s relieved to see her gone. Initially, Ashley seems like a valuable ally, but her rash decisions often make her more of a hindrance than a help. Interestingly, Leon, who can be seen as somewhat simple-minded, appears incredibly intelligent in comparison due to Ashley’s reckless behavior. Truthfully, it isn’t difficult to outsmart Ashley Graham; all you need to do is avoid the traps instead of charging right into them.

4 Sebastian (The Evil Within 2)

Round 2 In Hell? Why Not?

Throughout The Evil Within 2, Sebastian’s state of confusion is consistently evident, and he has no qualms about expressing this to the player repeatedly. Given that he had already battled terrifying creatures and traversed through Hell in The Evil Within, one might expect him to be less puzzled in the sequel. In fact, it seems Sebastian utters “what the hell?” more often in The Evil Within 2 than all Resident Evil protagonists combined. After the presumed death of his daughter, Lily, and the subsequent estrangement from his wife, Sebastian spends much of his time with a drink in hand. Despite understanding the potential dangers, when he learns that his daughter is still alive and serving as the host for a new STEM system, Sebastian makes a swift decision to return to Union.

Following his experiences in The Evil Within, it would seem logical for Sebastian to appreciate what he has and avoid unnecessary danger. Yet, this pattern of behavior is typical among horror game protagonists where common sense seems scarce. Despite this, Sebastian’s strong desire to find Lily is justifiable. However, a particular encounter reawakens old traumas that intensify his PTSD symptoms, bringing him once more close to death.

3 Jessica Riley (Until Dawn)

Don’t Poke The Bear

In Until Dawn, the characters you control are based on classic horror archetypes. Mike is the athletic one, Matt is the well-meaning but dimwitted character, Chris is the funny guy, and Jessica is a stereotypical blonde character, often found in horror movies and games. For instance, Jessica isn’t portrayed as intelligent intentionally, as demonstrated by her conversation with Emily about her belief that her natural talents will outweigh a perfect 4.0 GPA, which seems unrealistic. Later, when Josh sends Jess and Mike away from the lodge, they decide to venture into Blackwood Mountain – uncharted territory for both of them – without any knowledge of the area or protection, which is risky given their lack of preparation.

In a different scenario, Jessica gets kidnapped by the Wendigo and is forced into the mines for survival. If she hadn’t provoked what seemed like a bear and ventured out of the cabin where the beast could see her, she might have had a less eventful night. But Jessica isn’t one to follow the easy path. She enjoys challenging danger head-on, often by braving the cold outdoors in minimal clothing and yelling at anything that appears menacing – a strategy that has served her well.

2 Ethan Winters (Resident Evil 7)

Missing Wife Says Don’t Go, So He Goes

As a gamer, it feels like Ethan Winters is the spiritual sequel to James Sunderland. I can’t think of another reason why he’d be so determined to rescue Mia, yet end up at exactly the place she explicitly told him not to go. Sure, he loves her, and that’s understandable, but venturing to the eerie Baker family home in rural Louisiana after she warned about the horrors ahead? That wasn’t a smart move, Ethan.

In the game “Resident Evil 8”, Ethan bravely proposes to give up his life so that Chris Redfield, Rose, and others can safely depart. However, there’s a catch. Chris had used a remote detonator; Ethan didn’t have to be present for the explosion. He could have simply walked away, regardless of being a Mold clone or not. Frankly, it’s quite foolish, even for someone with little to no problem-solving abilities.

1 Luca (MADiSON)

Some Protagonists Are Better Seen And Not Heard

Among all the less-than-smart horror game protagonists, none are quite as unintelligent as Luca, the main character in MADiSON. Throughout the entire game, it appears that all Luca does is repeat himself or make obvious observations about his surroundings. For instance, he might walk into a cemetery and ask “Is this a cemetery?”, when it’s quite evident from the tombstones. It seems as if MADiSON doesn’t believe the player to be capable, so it has Luca identify any and all locations or important objects. Luca was so irritatingly dim-witted that the developers of MADiSON included an optional setting to mute him. Not any other character or adversary – just Luca. If that doesn’t demonstrate how much of a bothersome simpleton he truly is, nothing ever will.

To put it simply, Luca isn’t just making the game less enjoyable due to his slow pace; he also makes decisions that are downright terrible after finding out that the camera he has can detect ghosts and demons. As Mike Wazowski once said, “put that thing back where it came from or so help me.” Luca is not a character players find appealing, and his reactions to changes in the game don’t seem realistic for a protagonist. Furthermore, it feels like an insult to the player’s intelligence to know what’s happening and still have Luca playing catch-up throughout the game.

2024-09-20 04:34