O, the noble government, ever vigilant in its quest to extract every last coin from the pockets of the unsuspecting citizens! With crypto’s popularity soaring, they’ve deemed it prudent to impose a 0.21% tax on domestic sellers and a hefty 1% on those who dare trade abroad. How generous of them! 🕵️♂️
Picture it: July 30, an ordinary Wednesday afternoon—or so we thought. Suddenly, fifty wallets, all born between June 10 and July 31, 2017, began to dance in eerie synchrony. According to btcparser.com, these addresses transferred their contents as if rehearsed by some unseen conductor. Was it divine intervention? Or just another Tuesday in the life of crypto chaos?
Currently trading around $3,827—just a tad above that cozy $3,800 mark, giving it a weekly hop of 3.61%. It’s like watching a puppy chase its tail—slow but with purpose. Thanks to big shots pumping cash through Ethereum ETFs, the market’s feeling somewhat bullish, as if all the good wine is just starting to flow. The volume? Over $36 billion in just a day—a number that might make your bank account cry or sing, depending on your position. Ethereum flirted with $3,884, eyeing the mystical $3,900 resistance, which it teases like a lover reluctant to commit. Break that barrier and a rapid ascent towards $4,000 could be on the menu—maybe even with some short positions getting wiped out in the process, adding fuel to the speculative fire. 🔥
Look, PENGU’s become the shiny new toy in the meme crowd, thanks to some tweet from CryptoKaleo saying “dips are for buying.” As if we needed another reason to throw money at volatile junk. While the rest of the market’s just chilling sideways, PENGU’s strutting around like it knows something we don’t. People are glued to it, waiting for that “bullish leg” – whatever that means. Me? I’m just waiting for the inevitable faceplant. 🤦♂️
Strategy, once known as MicroStrategy, has secured 21,021 Bitcoins, a sum exceeding $2.46 billion, thus etching its name as the second most formidable acquisition in the year 2025. 🚀
Where once red tape ensnared these modern merchants—allowing only prosaic cash settlements—the rule change now throws open the gates. Gold’s stately precedent is to be echoed; in-kind trading, as familiar to commodity barons as misery is to peasants, now emerges in the glimmering shadows of Bitcoin and Ethereum. Behold, the world turns, and not even the SEC can hold it still.
Back in July 2025, these mysterious Solana whales were busier than a comedian at a roast, shuffling around over 5 million SOL—worth a cool $850 million! Most of it was zipping from exchanges to cold storage, like they’re prepping for a crypto apocalypse or just hoarding for fun. 😏 This screams “accumulation” not “panic sell,” so maybe the big players are finally getting smart—or just greedy. Either way, it pumped the price from meh $150s to almost $180, proving that when whales move, the little fish follow. Now, with less sell-off pressure, we’re eyeing that $200-$240 sweet spot. Cha-ching! 💰
In a move that could be straight out of a spy novel, CoinDCX has officially dismissed the notion that it’s in talks with Coinbase for a potential buyout. The rumors started swirling just days after CoinDCX reported a significant security incident that hit its operational systems hard.
Ladies and gentlemen, Solana’s SOL has tumbled 10% this week, now resting at $177 (per CoinGecko, that oracle of crypto’s fate). But fear not! Ali Martinez, X’s most ardent prophet, claims the TD Sequential indicator shouts “BUY!” with the enthusiasm of a court jester selling snake oil.
This magnum opus of regulatory jargon dives into President Donald Trump’s crypto escapades, from big moves to barely-there whispers. But for those who’ve been glued to their screens tracking every twist and turn, prepare to be underwhelmed. It’s less “revelation” and more “recycled news.” Officials claim the government is leagues ahead of the Biden era (applause, please 👏), citing the GENIUS Act for stablecoin regulations and the Clarity Act inching through Congress like a snail on vacation.
