😱 Banks Are Hoarding Cash Like It’s the Apocalypse – Is Your Loan Next?

Small firms are getting hit harder than a piñata at a five-year-old’s birthday party, with banks blaming “regulatory pressure” and “systemic risk aversion.” Translation: They’re scared of their own shadow and don’t want to lend money to anyone who might, you know, *need* it. 🥴 Meanwhile, mortgage demand is slumping like a deflated soufflé, and the only thing booming is home equity lines – because apparently, we’re all just cashing out our houses to fund our avocado toast habits.






