Investment Policy

Companies House, that austere sentinel of corporate virtue, declared Zedxion’s demise due to “information or a statement in an application for incorporation that is misleading, false or deceptive.” A poetic irony, one might say, for a company built on the pillars of illusion.

Bitcoin (BTC), that elusive beast known as digital gold, has come to a halt after a brief flirtation with the $70,000 mark, having plummeted a modest 8% since its midweek high. Meanwhile, Ethereum (ETH) has graciously dipped 2.2% to meander below the $2,200 threshold, while other well-known coins such as XRP, BNB, and Solana have all taken a collective step back, each declining by a mere 1% on this fine Friday.

And let’s not forget the earlier fracas with KuCoin, which was handed a $14 million penalty for the audacity of operating without a proper introduction to Canadian bureaucracy. How gauche! These incidents, my darlings, were merely the opening acts in a grand melodrama.

Analysts, ever the curious creatures, are now dissecting Bolivia’s sudden crypto pivot, which, if we’re being honest, seems less like a strategic move and more like a last-ditch effort to keep the economy from collapsing under its own weight. “Stablecoins are now acting as a dollar proxy,” they say, as if the dollar were a long-lost lover who never returned a call.

When the Winklevoss twins penned their Q4 shareholder letter, it was less a financial report and more a manifesto for the mechanized future. “AI is the new quill of enlightenment,” they declared, as if the algorithm had personally anointed them as scribes of progress.

Mr. Morgan Stanley desires that its intended spot bitcoin ETF may, should the Fates allow, trade under the sobriquet MSBT upon its debut.

Ethereum, poor thing, failed to maintain its poise above $2,320 and embarked on a decline as precipitous as a decline into alcoholism in a Waugh novel. Below $2,250 and $2,200 it fell, into a bearish zone as unforgiving as a judgmental aunt’s parlor.