In a world where gold is data and serfdom is measured in lines of code, the U.S. derivatives regulator, that most solemn of bureaucratic priests, has exorcised a former FTX high priest. The Commodity Futures Trading Commission (CFTC), a body as ancient and unyielding as the Kremlin’s stone walls, announced on April 1 that it had resolved its case against Nishad Singh, the man who once commanded the digital fields of FTX. The verdict? A $3.7 million disgorgement, a five-year trading ban, and an eight-year registration ban, all served with a side of cooperation-though one suspects Singh’s “cooperation” was less a noble act and more a desperate plea for mercy.