Investment Policy

Ah, the sacred ritual of regulatory compliance! 🕯️ Here, the OCC plays the role of a suspicious dowager, peering over her spectacles at newcomers daring to whisper, “Trust us.” Yet this charade ensures fledgling banks don’t gallop into the sunset before learning to saddle their ledgers.

The action kicked off with tiny transactions, whispering from the shadows of the old “1…” legacy wallets-probably trying to get in shape for their next big move. Last spotted in February 2021, these wallets decided to air out their dusty holdings with a series of microscopic transactions-because nothing says ‘I have something to hide’ like a parade of digital dust. Then, just like in all good thrillers, 33.7 BTC was whisked away through an intermediary hop, only to land in Coinbase Prime’s waiting embrace. Fancy, right?

And it wasn’t just Bitcoin-altcoins jumped in the chaos, probably trying to escape too, which helped push liquidations past the staggering $400 million mark. That’s a lot of financial heartbreak in just a single Friday afternoon, enough to make even the most hardened trader consider early retirement or a very long vacation on a beach somewhere that doesn’t accept crypto.

The legislative kabuki revolves around a proposed bill-an attempt to let pension funds peek into the glittering but treacherous crypto abyss. The labor unions, with the solemnity of ancient prophets, warn that such an act is akin to handing over grandma’s savings to a lady with a crystal ball-predictably capricious and likely to vanish in a puff of digital smoke. “Cryptos are too wild,” they cry, “and no one should gamble their golden years on this carnival of chaos.”