Investment Policy

This little escapade achieved notoriety this week, as Bloomberg gallantly reported that Lloyds and Aberdeen have decided to tango with the digital tokens representing both Aberdeen’s money market fund (oh, so terribly fancy!) and those timeless UK gilts. These little digital darlings were flawlessly issued, transferred, and kept under wraps through Archax on the Hedera Hashgraph blockchain. An impressive feat, if I do say so! 💁‍♂️

Once again, stablecoins have stumbled into the limelight like the last uninvited guest at a soirée, increasingly masquerading as their fiat cousins. Our dear Bailey, in a moment of solemn reflection, has decried the imminent peril posed by the unbridled adoption of these digital curiosities, particularly should private banks choose to unleash them upon the unsuspecting populace.

the GENIUS Act (as if they needed more genius), the CLARITY Act (which sounds like a poorly titled self-help book), and the Anti-CBDC Surveillance State Act, which could very well have been penned by a mildly paranoid novelist. 📚

Aye, the numbers, according to the astute prophets at SoSoValue, reveal that 12 of these glittering Bitcoin ETFs have bloated their coffers by a staggering $2.72 billion last week! That’s quite a leap from the more modest prior week’s treasure trove of nearly $770 million. Seems like everyone is suddenly keen on our digital darling! 💰💸

A trader so aptly named Falllling (perhaps a subtle hint of what was coming?) had the misfortune of seeing his $334 million worth of short positions wiped out faster than you can say “Bitcoin’s going to the moon.” According to the ever-watchful crypto sleuths at Lookonchain, this included 1,743 Bitcoin valued at $211 million, 33,743 Ether worth $102.3 million, and a whopping 15 million FARTCOIN (yes, you read that right) valued at $20.6 million. I’m not sure what FARTCOIN is, but it sounds like something that belongs in the “What was I thinking?” files.

During the last trading week, cryptocurrency investment products invited in a staggering $3.7 billion of fresh inflows, as reported by the crystal ball of crypto—CoinShares. What a splendid week for those who like their fortunes drawn from the bread-and-butter of blockchains and electronic magic!

BTC price strength is flexing its muscles and showing zero signs of politely stepping back into the shadows as it makes its flashy entrance at $123,000.

Now, what have we here? Bailey, not just twiddling his thumbs while sipping Earl Grey, has taken up a significant role as chairman of the Financial Stability Board. Armed with newfound powers sharper than a hedge fund manager’s tie, he’s poised to mold international digital currency rules while the $264 billion stablecoin market spins faster than the wheels of fortune at a particularly untrustworthy carnival! And may I remind you, a staggering 99% of all stablecoins are tethered to that all-important American dollar, the one that feels like the overstuffed wallet you always carry, full of receipts and existential dread.

And guess what? While Bitcoin is pulling off a rock star move, reaching a staggering $121,000, XRP swoops in like the popcorn thief at a movie theater, getting way too comfy in Tether’s (USDT) seat, grabbing the third spot in the crypto lineup! With a market cap of $172.79 billion, it’s waving goodbye to USDT at $159.55 billion like a sleepy bye-bye! 🌊

Backdrop of the Chronicles
The vibrant DOGE revival was no mere coincidence; it synchronously danced with the broader crypto renaissance, as the winds of fortune shifted with those newly relaxed Fed expectations and a thawing of the BRICS-U.S. trade cold war.
Traders, like whimsical fairies, set their sights on the tantalizing $0.213–$0.215 resistance fortress, even as Bitcoin’s storied leap to $118,000 provided a raucous revelry for meme coins.