Video Game Characters Who Are All Bark, No Bite

Certain characters really stand out thanks to their design and abilities. Cloud Strife from Final Fantasy 7 is a great example. He doesn’t talk much, but he always follows through on his promises, and he’s incredibly powerful in the game. Plus, he’s instantly recognizable with his spiky hair, massive sword, and simple, stylish clothes.

This character seems to have it all, and others in their games wish they could be more like him – but they just don’t measure up. They might talk a big game, making threats and bragging, but they can’t actually deliver on their promises. Whether they’re supposed to be heroes or villains, these characters always fall short when it’s time to act.

There will be spoilers.

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Dutch Van Der Linde

I Have A Plan

Dutch van der Linde leads the gang in both Red Dead Redemption games and serves as the main villain in both. The story starts with the gang fleeing from the authorities as they travel to a new town in the Wild West. Throughout the game, Dutch repeatedly claims to have a plan, which becomes a running joke among the characters and a popular meme for players.

Throughout Red Dead Redemption 2, Dutch struggles because he lacks a clear plan and reacts violently to anyone who challenges him. He’s a prime example of a failing leader who somehow continues to attract followers despite his shortcomings. As the player character, Arthur Morgan, you have the choice to either remain loyal to Dutch or forge your own path, giving you some control over the story’s direction.

Francois

Leave Me Alone

In the game Clair Obscur: Expedition 33, players will encounter Francois inside Esquie’s Nest – the same place they meet Esquie. Francois is a large, ill-tempered creature resembling a rocky turtle, and he’s not happy to see the players or Esquie. Annoyed by their presence, he challenges them to a battle, letting them know it could be their last.

Calling Francois’s fight a joke would be putting it mildly – he’s just not a very strong opponent. Players can keep challenging him, but the outcome is always the same, despite his claims of getting stronger. It’s almost sad, but Francois isn’t malicious; he simply doesn’t enjoy people or activity, which actually makes him a strangely endearing character in Clair Obscur: Expedition 33, even though you can’t play as him.

Gilgamesh

An Inter-Dimensional Weapons Collector

Gilgamesh is a frequent villain in the Final Fantasy games, originally appearing in Final Fantasy 5. While his abilities and appearance vary from game to game, his portrayal in Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth is particularly comical. He’s a collector of powerful weapons from different dimensions who often challenges the heroes to battles. These fights usually end in a funny way, with Gilgamesh clumsily messing up before they can even begin.

This side quest culminates in a final battle that’s difficult, though not the hardest in the game. Gilgamesh is one of many delightful characters in Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth. He might not be as powerful as he claims, but he’s definitely a character you won’t forget.

Void Kong

Monkey Business

Void Kong is the primary villain in Donkey Kong Bananza and runs the company VoidCo. He’s surprisingly small for an ape, and instead of doing any work himself, he floats around on a robotic banana while ordering his minions to steal valuable Banandium Gems.

Even when battling Donkey Kong, Void Kong avoids getting directly involved, preferring to use a remote-controlled banana to launch attacks. Without his technology, he’s actually quite weak and believes money can buy him victory. Ultimately, Donkey Kong – and another, currently unmentioned character – defeat him decisively.

Ozzie

All Aboard The Crazy Train

Ozzie is a villain in the medieval portion of the game Chrono Trigger, and he acts as one of Magus’s top lieutenants. He’s bossy and has a very memorable – and irritating – laugh. However, despite his confident attitude, Ozzie isn’t actually very powerful. Unlike the fights with the other two strong enemies, Slash and Flea, which are full-fledged boss battles, players won’t face a proper challenge when fighting Ozzie.

The heroes will pursue him relentlessly and surprisingly defeat Ozzie using his own tricks, ultimately sending his frozen body to the deepest levels of Magus’s castle. While the battle itself isn’t very dramatic, it’s memorable for how unusual it was. Chrono Trigger was a remarkably innovative RPG that consistently defied player expectations, and the fight with Ozzie is just one example of this.

Tron Bonne

Hopelessly In Love With The Hero

I just love Tron Bonne! She reminds me of a classic cartoon villain – always up to no good with her brothers and those cute little Servbots flying around. They’re this whole family of sky pirates, and she’s constantly trying to take over Kattelox Island by building these crazy mechs. But no matter what, Mega Man Volnutt always stops her! It’s hilarious because she always says, “This time, I’ll win!” with her latest robot, only to get completely wrecked. It’s a running gag, and I can’t get enough of it!

The Bonnes are the kind of villains you love to root against – they’re silly, dramatic, and more interested in quick cash than serious crime. Even though the original series is no longer available, it’s clear why Tron has remained popular, with appearances in games like Marvel vs. Capcom 3: Fate of Two Worlds and Project X Zone keeping it in the public eye.

Mysterio

Now You See Me, Now You Don’t

In Marvel’s Spider-Man 2, players can battle Mysterio as a side villain. His quest is particularly memorable, challenging players as Miles Morales to navigate a complex series of illusions. After overcoming numerous deceptive obstacles, players will reach Mysterio’s hideout and discover a shocking surprise.

The actual Mysterio, Quentin Beck, was held captive while his partners disguised themselves as him, claiming to be superior to everyone else. When challenged, they quickly fell apart under the stress. This means the real Mysterio isn’t a fighter, and wasn’t even the mastermind behind the scheme.

Luka Redgrave

A Knight In Fumbling Armor

Luka is a consistent ally to Bayonetta throughout her games, showing up in all three main titles. He’s known for making dramatic entrances, always appearing confident with a sly grin and stylish clothes. He’s also incredibly skilled with a grappling hook.

Despite his best efforts, Luka quickly falls apart under pressure, often making a fool of himself even when trying to be heroic. He’s a journalist, not a fighter, so he avoids conflict and struggles with practical tasks, always promising to be a savior. Ultimately, Luka realizes it’s alright to depend on Bayonetta and her abilities.

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2026-02-25 00:07