Video Game Protagonists That Would Suck At Their Own Game

Video Game Protagonists That Would Suck At Their Own Game

As a long-time gamer and observer of various gaming characters, I must say that each one has their unique strengths and weaknesses when it comes to playing video games.


While some gamers might quickly adapt to playing new platformers, first-person shooters, or adventure games, others might find it more challenging. The reason being, gamers are experienced and skilled in gaming, allowing them to easily navigate their preferred titles. But have you ever pondered over how video game characters would fare if they were given a controller? After all, they excel at the tasks we assign them in-game, but what about real-life gaming?

Although these skillful characters could be considered heroes within their respective universes, they might surprisingly struggle with aspects of life that gamers encounter while playing their games outside of the screen. Here’s a list of some exceptional video game protagonists who would likely perform poorly if they were to play their own titles.

7 Leon Kennedy

Occupation: DSO Agent

Video Game Protagonists That Would Suck At Their Own Game

Despite Leon S. Kennedy being an accomplished government agent following the events in Raccoon City at age 21 (as depicted in Resident Evil 2), it seems improbable that his real-life skills would translate well into video games. Given the harsh circumstances and constant training he endured, Leon had little opportunity to indulge in leisure activities or even enjoy his childhood. One of the rare instances where Leon interacted with video games was during the shooting range in Resident Evil 4. Fortunately for him, he has a reliable friend who operates a carnival booth, providing a small escape and an opportunity to play some less-deadly games.

6 Big Boss/Naked Snake

Occupation: Special Forces Operative/ Mercenary Commander

Video Game Protagonists That Would Suck At Their Own Game

Under the alias Naked Snake, or more commonly known as Big Boss, was an exceptional special forces operative and mercenary leader. He excelled in combat situations, sharpshooting, and covert operations that required espionage. Big Boss was a master of many trades, making him seem almost unbeatable. Yet, if he were given a game controller to play his own game, it’s possible he would face challenges in a newfound hobby where he might not excel.

In my gaming world, it’s hard to imagine that Old-School, with his military career kicking off in the ’50s, has never really dabbled in video games, let alone something as complex and cutting-edge as the Metal Gear series. After all, the first game was born in 1958; a time when he was probably still in uniform!

5 Isaac Clarke

Occupation: Ship Systems Engineer

Video Game Protagonists That Would Suck At Their Own Game

Prior to his role as a certified necromorph slayer on the USG Ishimura, Isaac Clarke was just a regular ship systems engineer. Although he became proficient at severing limbs, operating a plasma cutter is not an easily transferable skill.

In his youth, Isaac Clarke might have been quite the geek, yet details about his childhood and adolescence are scant. It’s unclear if he was involved in video games or not, but by the time Dead Space 3 hit the shelves, Isaac had already spent a significant chunk of his life battling against the Unitologists and their mind-altering Markers.

4 Villager

Occupation: Resident Representative

Video Game Protagonists That Would Suck At Their Own Game

their paws.

In the Animal Crossing game, just like the other animal characters, the Villager doesn’t possess fingers or opposable thumbs. This makes the game quite challenging for them. Even though the Villager might discover alternative ways to interact with the game they are central to, using a standard Nintendo Switch controller (or joycons), they would be completely ineffective.

3 Cat (Ginger)

Occupation: Cat

Video Game Protagonists That Would Suck At Their Own Game

In the video game titled “Stray“, the main character is a charming cat who doesn’t have an official name; fans frequently call him “Ginger.” Though Ginger is adorable and independent, he is still just a cat. Despite his great role in the game’s narrative, standard game controllers are not designed for use by cats when playing “Stray.”

It’s probably hard for Ginger to grasp most things related to video games, including understanding the instructions and playing the game itself. However, Ginger could be an excellent partner to play video games with, regardless.

2 Sims

Occupation: Varies

Video Game Protagonists That Would Suck At Their Own Game

Sims characters are infamous for being rather obstinate and careless about their personal well-being. They frequently overlook essential needs or even accidentally catch fire and perish prematurely within the game. One might wonder how these self-neglectful Sims could possibly look after other Sims in the game. While it’s true that some Sims excel at gaming (with the right attributes), if a Sim were to play its own version of The Sims 4, it would likely result in a high mortality rate among the Sim population.

1 Pilgor

Occupation: Goat

Video Game Protagonists That Would Suck At Their Own Game

In the popular video game “Goat Simulator 3,” there’s a renowned character named Pilgor. Although Pilgor exhibits numerous skills within the game, it’s unlikely that he could effectively play his own game, given his hooves are not well-suited for gaming.

In simpler terms, people require ‘Goat Simulator 3’ to grasp the sensation of being a goat, whereas Pilgor doesn’t necessitate a full simulator to live his everyday life. It’s my hope that someday, our cherished animal companions will also be able to enjoy video games.

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2024-08-02 13:55