🚨 Crypto Bro’s Secret Recipe: How to Cook Books and Influence People in DeFi 📈

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Oh honey, gather ’round because I’ve got some piping hot tea about another crypto drama that’s more twisted than my sister’s attempt at making Christmas dinner. 🫖

So there’s this guy, Quinn Thompson (think of him as the Miranda Priestly of crypto), who’s been strutting around Twitter like he’s caught someone wearing cargo shorts at Fashion Week. He’s pointing fingers at Ondo Finance with the same energy my mother uses to judge my life choices. 🧐

On April 14th, Quinn decided to do what any self-respecting drama queen would do – he took to X (because apparently Twitter wasn’t fancy enough) and basically said, “Remember that Mantra mess? Well, hold my blockchain…” 💅

“Can someone pretty please confirm if Ondo’s playing financial musical chairs with their own money?” he asked, in what I imagine was his most pearl-clutching voice. 🎭

Get this – he’s suggesting their $7B valuation is about as authentic as my aunt’s “natural” blonde hair. They’re apparently making zero revenue (my bank account can relate) and their products are just fancy wrapping paper for BlackRock’s stuff, like putting a Gucci label on a Target handbag. 👜

The real kicker? Their 0.15% fee is waived until 2025, which means they’re making less money than I did at my first job selling questionable smoothies at the mall. And when they do start charging, they’ll make about $975K annually – that’s like having a 7,000x markup on tap water. 💸

Some Twitter user named @TimiBot chimed in with “Thought this was an open secret” – which is crypto-speak for “We all knew but were too busy pretending to understand what blockchain is.” 🤫

In conclusion, it seems Ondo Finance might be playing a game of financial hot potato with themselves, while their money sits in T-Bills like a retiree’s savings account. It’s giving very much “I’m not like other protocols, I’m a cool protocol” energy. 🎭

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2025-04-14 15:09