🚨 Ethereum’s Epic Fail: From Hero to Zero as Devs Flee to AI Overlords 😱

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In the grimy underbelly of the crypto world, where dreams go to die and hope crawls away on broken legs, Ethereum stands like a once-proud warrior now reduced to begging for scraps. 🤡 The mighty ETH, our supposed “world computer,” has become the court jester of digital assets, entertaining us with its pathetic dance at $1,600 – the same price it flaunted in its glory days of 2021.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen! 😂 Like a drunk uncle at a wedding, ETH stumbles below 0.019 BTC, while its only saving grace – stablecoins – multiply like rabbits in springtime. The irony would be delicious if it weren’t so tragic.

In Jan 2021, total stablecoin supply on ETH was $22B. Today, it’s $123B.

— DefiLlama.com (@DefiLlama) April 11, 2025

Behold, comrades! The great achievement of our time – we’ve managed to stuff more digital dollars into this technological marvel! 🎭 Meanwhile, DeFi protocols sit there like abandoned factories in a ghost town, their TVL barely crawling from $85 billion to $89 billion in four years. Progress, they call it! 🤣

The DEX volume? A measly $7.6 billion, up from $5.7 billion in 2021. It’s like comparing the size of breadcrumbs while the feast goes on elsewhere. Meanwhile, Bitcoin, that smug firstborn of crypto, lounges at $83,600, laughing at its younger sibling’s misfortunes.

Crypto developer activity is the lowest it’s been since 2018.

This is probably the saddest chart in crypto, and also the one which most accurately depicts the current state of the industry.

Even in the 2022 bear market, developers kept building.

But what are the reasons for…

— Miles Deutscher (@milesdeutscher) April 10, 2025

And the developers? Oh, those precious builders of our digital utopia! They’ve abandoned ship faster than rats on a sinking vessel, seduced by the siren song of AI. 🤖 Can you blame them? When was the last time your smart contract made you coffee or wrote your breakup text?

Yet here we are, comrades, watching the cryptocurrency market add a whopping 0.3% to its value – barely enough to buy a cup of synthetic coffee in our brave new world. 🎪 This is what we’ve become: a circus where stablecoins are the main act, and innovation is just a fond memory of better days.

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2025-04-12 16:55