💰💼 Saylor’s Bitcoin Pitch: America’s Digital Gold Rush? 💼💰

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In the grand halls where the almighty dollars are discussed, a man named Michael Saylor, a co-founder of the firm Strategy, took to the X platform to recount his sojourn amongst the Financial Services Committee. There, amidst the whispers of power, he expounded upon the wonders of digital assets, his voice as smooth as the shine of a freshly minted coin.

Saylor, with the air of a prophet, declared that he had conversed with the Committee about the United States’ potential to lead the world in the realm of Bitcoin and crypto. In this hallowed meeting, he presented the esteemed members with his “Digital Asset Framework,” which, much like a treasure map, marked the spot where Bitcoin, the digital commodity, lay hidden.

In a move that would make even the most seasoned of salesmen blush, Saylor, the executive chairman, shared a link to this document via tweet, as if it were the key to a treasure chest.

The Framework and the Coin of Kings

The document, with the grand title of “Digital Assets Framework, Principles, and Opportunity for the United States,” laid out definitions for digital assets as if they were the ingredients for a potion of wealth. It spoke of legitimacy, compliance, and how to transform the United States into a “global digital leader,” as if it were a mere change of hat.

“On Tuesday, I had the pleasure of meeting with the House Financial Services Committee and @RepFrenchHill to discuss digital assets. How can we make the U.S. the global leader in Bitcoin and crypto, you ask? Behold, the Digital Assets Framework I presented is attached below.” — Michael Saylor⚡️ (@saylor) February 27, 2025

The framework, like a magician’s trick, revealed various types of digital assets: digital commodities (Bitcoin, the golden child), digital securities (with an issuer and a backbone), digital currencies backed by fiat (the stable yet boring cousin), digital tokens (useful as a Swiss Army knife), digital NFTs (unique as a snowflake), and digital ABTs (backed by the tangible, like gold or oil, for those who like their assets with a touch of the old world).

It proposed ways to legalize these digital assets, suggesting they could be the wind in the sails of the US economy, propelling it to new heights of prosperity, or so the story goes.

It even spoke of a “Strategic Bitcoin Reserve,” promising wealth beyond the dreams of avarice for the US Treasury, a pathway to financial utopia where national debt is but a memory.

Saylor’s Sermon to the Amazonian King

In a week filled with the buzz of bees and the rustle of dollar bills, Michael Saylor, the Bitcoin bard, sang his song to the legendary Jeff Bezos, the founder of Amazon and the ruler of retail realms. Bezos, in a tweet that echoed like a decree, vowed to defend “personal liberties and free markets,” a policy shift as unexpected as a sunny day in Seattle.

The Washington Post, under Bezos’ watchful eye, sang a new tune, praising America as a land where the exceptional is the norm. Bezos extolled the virtues of freedom, as if it were the secret ingredient to the American dream.

Saylor, ever the opportunist, chimed in, declaring Bitcoin to be “the best way to promote personal liberties and free markets,” as if it were the philosopher’s stone that would turn leaden policies into golden opportunities.

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2025-02-27 21:28