Lo! The noble houses of finance-Fortress, Brevan Howard, and their ilk-have bestowed upon Ripple the princely sum of $500M! A modern-day Medici awakening, as proclaimed by the illustrious Brad Garlinghouse. 🎩
Verily, this elevates Ripple’s valuation to the stratospheric sum of $40 billion! A figure so grand, it might make even the Sun King blush. 🌞
“2025, a year of marvels for @Ripple! A cherry atop a sundae of serendipity!”
– Brad Garlinghouse, tweeting with the gravitas of a Roman senator 📜
After a year of triumphs (coinciding suspiciously with political winds), Garlinghouse declared this investment the “icing on the cake of crypto’s grand opéra.” 🎭
“This coin toss isn’t merely validation! ‘Tis a vision of crypto’s future! Behold our greatness!”
At the Swell 2025 Conference (a veritable carnival of fintech), Ripple paraded its spoils: $95B in payments (a mere trifle!), a stablecoin breaching $1B (how quaint!), and 75 regulatory licenses (a diplomatic corps for the blockchain age). 🚀
Meanwhile, XRP, that fickle phoenix, rose 10% from its ignoble dive below $2.10. Now perched at $2.30, it gazes upon the world like a cat that’s just knocked over a vase. 😼
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2025-11-05 18:01