As the gloomy Friday dawned, the crypto market, much like a forlorn lover, continued its downward spiral, succumbing to the whims of a risk-off sentiment. The impending specter of Donald Trump’s Liberation Day and the unsettling US inflation data had investors scurrying for cover, their hearts heavy with the weight of uncertainty.
Bitcoin (BTC), once the proud behemoth, now lay battered, its value plummeting below $84,000, a gut-wrenching 5.5% drop from its lofty perch earlier in the week. The altcoins, those delicate flowers, wilted under the pressure, with Polygon (POL), JasmyCoin (JASMY), Bonk (BONK), and Injective (INJ) suffering the slings of outrageous fortune, their values crashing by over 10%. 🤯
The culprit behind this crypto carnage? A sobering report from the Bureau of Economic Analysis, revealing the inexorable rise of US inflation in February. This ominous signpost hinted at a hawkish Federal Reserve, striking fear into the hearts of investors. Yet, a sage Bloomberg analyst whispered words of comfort, predicting a rapid rate cut in the second half of the year, saying:
“With the Fed on hold for now, they’ll likely need to cut rates in the second half of the year more quickly — and likely by more — than the latest dot plot shows they anticipate.” 💡
Meanwhile, the world held its breath as Donald Trump’s Liberation Day drew nigh, promising a maelstrom of reciprocal tariffs that would leave no ally or foe unscathed. The automobile tariffs, announced with great fanfare, were merely the opening salvo in this trade warfare symphony.
In a twist of fate, a team from Elon Musk’s Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) descended upon the Securities and Exchange Commission, like a deus ex machina, amidst the crypto market’s chaos. 🚀
Tasked by Trump to revolutionize the Federal Government, Musk’s DOGE had already racked up an impressive tally, saving taxpayers a staggering $130 billion, according to its website. The question on everyone’s lips, however, was: what sorcery would DOGE conjure to streamline the SEC? 🧙♂️
The agency, entrusted with policing the financial market, including the Wild West of crypto, was currently embroiled in investigating numerous spot crypto ETF filings from heavy hitters like Canary, Grayscale, and Franklin Templeton. The arrival of DOGE coincided with the aftermath of Paul Atkins’ grilling in Congress, his approval as the next SEC Chair all but certain, given the Republican majority. 🤝
In a surprising turn of events, the SEC, once a formidable foe, had transformed into a benevolent patron under Trump’s watch, hinting at a slew of crypto ETF approvals and ceasing its relentless pursuit of crypto companies like Coinbase, Kraken, and Uniswap. A new era of détente had dawned, it seemed. 🌅
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2025-03-28 20:37