🚨 JP Morgan vs Bitcoin: The Great Treasury Tantrum! 🚀

The Bitcoin community, in a fit of pique, has decided JP Morgan is about as welcome as a troll in a wizard’s hat. 🧙‍♂️✨ This follows MSCI’s potential exclusion of crypto treasury firms, which could send investors running faster than a wizard fleeing a tax audit.

The backlash against JP Morgan has swelled like a bloated swamp dragon, with Bitcoin enthusiasts and MicroStrategy supporters waving pitchforks and torches (metaphorically, of course-we’re civilized, after all). 🏦🔥 Calls to “boycott” the banking giant erupted on Sunday, proving that nothing unites people like a good old-fashioned financial feud.

MSCI’s Index Shenanigans Spark Crypto Outrage 🤬

The kerfuffle began when MSCI, the index company with a name that sounds like a forgotten spell, hinted it might boot crypto treasury firms from its indexes. 🧙‍♂️📉 This decision, expected in January 2026, has the crypto world in a tizzy, as if someone announced a ban on hats at a Discworld party.

Related Reading: Bitcoin News: Strategy Inc. Defends Bitcoin Model Amid MSCI Reclassification Push | Live Bitcoin News

Even Grant Cardone, a real estate mogul with a penchant for drama, has joined the fray. He’s reportedly yanked $20 million from Chase, a JP Morgan subsidiary, faster than a thief fleeing Ankh-Morpork’s Night Watch. 🏦💨 Meanwhile, Max Keiser is rallying the troops, urging everyone to “crash JP Morgan and buy MicroStrategy and BTC”-because nothing says rebellion like a well-timed stock purchase.

JUST IN: Large numbers of users are allegedly rushing to close accounts at JP Morgan following a premeditated attack on shareholders. 🏦💥

– The ₿itcoin Therapist (@TheBTCTherapist)

If other index providers follow MSCI’s lead, the financial fallout could be as catastrophic as a dragon crashing a dwarf wedding. 💸🐉 JPMorgan analysts predict withdrawals could hit $8.8 billion, which is enough to make even a wizard’s wallet weep.

MicroStrategy’s shares, meanwhile, have been plummeting faster than a novice witch on her first broomstick. 🧹📉 They hit a low of $170 last Friday, proving that gravity applies to stocks as well as falling objects.

Deaton suggests retail traders might rally around MicroStrategy, à la the GME saga, in a move that would make even the Ankh-Morpork Merchants’ Guild proud. 🎩📈 After all, nothing says “stick it to the man” like a coordinated stock surge.

MSCI’s Rule Change: A Crypto-Sized Can of Worms 🐛

MSCI is considering a rule change that would exclude companies holding 50% or more of their assets in digital currencies from its equity benchmarks. 📜⚖️ This would affect indexes like the MSCI World and MSCI USA, leaving crypto firms out in the cold like a lost tourist in Uberwald.

The public consultation ends in December, with a final decision expected around January 15th, 2026. 🗓️🤞 JPMorgan analysts warn this could trigger billions in passive investment outflows for MicroStrategy, potentially crushing its stock value like a troll sitting on a cupcake.

The Bitcoin community, never ones to shy away from drama, have taken JPMorgan’s report as a declaration of war. 🗡️🛡️ High-profile figures are leading the charge, with Grant Cardone and Max Keiser waving the flag of rebellion. If MSCI’s proposal goes through, index funds and asset managers will be forced to dump MicroStrategy shares, potentially sending the crypto market into a tailspin.

So, grab your popcorn and your favorite meme coin-this financial feud is just getting started. 🍿🚀

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2025-11-24 14:36