🤑 FTX Creditors: $1.6B Payday Incoming – Don’t Spend It All on Space Travel! 🚀

by

In a universe where money vanishes faster than a towel in a Hitchhiker’s pocket, FTX creditors are about to get a whopping $1.6 billion on September 30. 🤑 Yes, you read that right. The bankruptcy black hole is spitting out cash, and it’s not even a practical joke from Zaphod Beeblebrox.

The FTX Recovery Trust, in a move that’s almost as surprising as finding a restaurant at the end of the universe, has announced a third distribution of funds worth approximately $1.6 billion. The payout is scheduled for September 30, 2025, because even in bankruptcy, deadlines are as inevitable as the Vogons’ poetry. This is the biggest leap towards compensating former clients and creditors since the catastrophic collapse of the exchange in November 2022, which left everyone feeling like they’d been hit by a Vogon constructor fleet.

FTX to Begin Third Payout Round via BitGo, Kraken, Payoneer – No, Not the Squidgy Green Ones 🦑

Payments to eligible creditors will be made through one of three Distribution Service Providers: BitGo, Kraken, or Payoneer. Funds are expected to arrive in one to three business days, which is faster than the Heart of Gold on infinite improbability drive. This is all about providing fast, safe access to recovered assets, because let’s face it, nobody wants their money stuck in a time-space anomaly.

The Chapter 11 Plan of FTX (not to be confused with a galactic bylaw) dictates that claimants will receive payouts based on waterfall priorities. Essentially, some get paid before others, much like how Arthur Dent always ends up last in line for tea. It’s all very bureaucratic, but hey, at least it’s not the Vogons handling it.

Related Reading: FTX Estate Unstakes $45M in Solana, Sparking Curiosity and a Sudden Urge to Google “Solana” 📈

Dotcom Customer Entitlement Claims (Class 5A) will get 6% this round, bringing their total recovery to 78%. U.S. Customer Entitlement Claims (Class 5B) will snag 40%, hitting a cumulative 95%. Meanwhile, Class 6A and 6B General Unsecured Claims will see 24%, and Convenience Claims (Class 7) will get a whopping 120%, because sometimes the universe just likes to throw a bone. Or a fish. Or a hoagie.

FTX Trust Promises More Distribution Dates – Mark Your Calendars, or Don’t, We’re Not Your Mum 📅

The first two distributions focused on reimbursing individual and small claimants, often with 120% refunds. However, some users are grumbling that cash payouts don’t account for the skyrocketing value of their crypto. To which the universe replies: “Life’s tough, hope you got a towel.”

To qualify for this round, creditors must navigate the FTX Customer Portal like it’s a maze designed by a paranoid android. Complete KYC verification, submit tax documents, and choose a Distribution Service Provider (no take-backs!). It’s like a galactic scavenger hunt, but with fewer aliens and more paperwork.

The FTX Recovery Trust promises more distribution dates soon, sticking to the court-approved plan with all the transparency of a glass spaceship. While not everyone’s happy with the calculations, the fact that money is flowing is a sign of progress-or at least a temporary reprieve from the void.

The FTX case remains one of the most complex bankruptcies in crypto history, a tangled mess that would make even Deep Thought throw its hands up. Creditors can stay updated via the FTX Claims Portal or their chosen service provider. Just remember: Don’t panic. 🛸

Read More

2025-09-20 19:23