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SBF’s Political Plot: Biden’s Revenge? 🤡

Oh, the audacity of Sam Bankman-Fried, that paragon of virtue now clinking in a cell, who dares to accuse the Biden administration of political vengeance! 🤡💸

Behold, this disgraced crypto kingpin, once a titan of trust, now spins tales of persecution after shifting his loyalties from left to center-ah, the treachery of a man who once dined on billions and now dines on delusions! 🕵️♂️

SBF’s New Conspiracy

According to this tragicomedy, the SEC and DOJ conspired to arrest him mere weeks before a crypto bill vote and just as he prepared to testify! A plot so outlandish, even the most gullible would raise an eyebrow. 🤯

The House Republicans, ever the loyalists, questioned the timing, while the SEC’s IT policy mysteriously erased messages-because nothing says “conspiracy” like a computer crash. 🧠💥

Despite his 25-year sentence, SBF and his kin cling to the notion that they’re victims, not villains. His parents, ever the optimists, seek a pardon from Trump, who once spared a Silk Road kingpin. What a duo! 🕵️♂️

In interviews, SBF boasts of his newfound conservatism, even gracing Tucker Carlson’s show-though his crisis manager, perhaps wisely, fled. “Guilty?” he scoffs. “A fair trial? A farce!” 🤭

Overfunded Lobby Effort Behind the Spin

Critics, however, see this as a well-funded farce to paint SBF as a martyr, not a mastermind of crypto’s greatest collapse. 🧙♂️

Far-right firebrand Laura Loomer warns: “The media will keep spinning this tale, despite mountains of evidence!” But then, what’s a conspiracy without a little drama? 🎭


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2025-10-15 22:40