Lula Proposes a BRICS Currency—Is the Dollar About to Need Therapy?

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Lula announces, with the dignity of a man who’s just finished a hotdog eating contest, that the world must embrace free trade and multilateralism—this time by inventing a brand new BRICS trade currency. Sure, it’s “challenging,” but apparently, humanity needs saving, so… step aside, common sense. 🦸‍♂️💸

Lula Decides Global Currency Should Be Decided Over Coffee—and Maybe Caipirinhas

Picture this: a shiny new BRICS bloc trade currency, leaping onto the world stage and elbowing the U.S. dollar at the buffet table of global trade settlements. Brazilian President Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva stood up, probably after checking his WhatsApp, to toss out the idea: why not have a new currency for BRICS? Settle everything, support multilateralism, and, with any luck, confuse several million economists in the process. 🤑

At the legendary 10th annual meeting of the New Development Bank (NDB)—a name so generic it could double as a diet yogurt—Lula unfurled this trade currency proposal like a magician pulling a rabbit out of a hat, except the rabbit is economic disruption and the hat is the International Monetary Fund. He called the new coinage a shiny tool for freeing the world’s poorest from the fun-loving austerity slaps of global superpowers.

Lula stated:

The debate over the need for a new trade currency is extremely important. It’s complex, I know, and it presents political problems, I know, but if people don’t find a new formula, the 21st century will end the same way the 20th century began, and that will not be beneficial for humanity.

In a bold move, Lula urged NDB President Dilma Rousseff to get cozy with pretty much every bank in the world and prove that, yes, new financing policies are totally a thing if you believe hard enough.

He warned, presumably with much shaking of the fist and dramatic music in the background, that if these dreams remain just that—dreams—democracy itself might have to sleep with one eye open. Multilateralism, apparently, is having its worst quarter since the invention of color TV.

The “let’s get a BRICS currency” parade pops up every so often, but until now, the group has usually channeled their inner procrastinators by favoring schemes that use good old national currencies. Why solve one problem when you can create five new acronyms?

Not to be left out, even President Trump weighed in last December. He said the quiet part loud: launch a BRICS currency or ghost the dollar, and you’ll be hit with tariffs up to 100%—which is a polite way of saying, “Sell elsewhere. The U.S. economy is full, thank you for your interest, please try again never.” 🦅💼

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2025-07-06 13:33