When Corporations Go Bitcoin: A Noël Coward Satire

Oh, the drama! A veritable parade of companies has decided to throw their hats into the Bitcoin ring, accelerating a global trend that leaves one wondering what the future holds for our dear BTC. 🤔

Just last week, public firms splashed out a cool $275 million on BTC, and Metaplanet nearly matched this sum all by itself. Strategy, Semler Scientific, Genius Group, and a host of others have also made their grand entrances, each with a flourish of the hand and a wink. 🎩✨

Companies Keep Buying Bitcoin, Naturally

It seems the world is not content with just a few firms dabbling in Bitcoin. No, no, the appetite for this digital darling is growing faster than a London fog in November. Today alone, several firms have announced massive new acquisitions or plans to do so, painting a picture of a trend that’s as unstoppable as a runaway Rolls-Royce. For instance, Strategy (formerly MicroStrategy) is planning to raise a staggering $4.2 billion for BTC buys:

Strategy Announces $4.2 Billion $STRD At-The-Market Program

— Michael Saylor (@saylor) July 7, 2025

According to the company’s press release, Strategy plans to sell a vast quantity of STRD, a new stock offering, to afford more Bitcoin. The firm has purchased more than $1 billion in BTC several times this year, but this massive commitment is the pièce de résistance. Strategy is planning a truly gargantuan buy, while other companies are executing smaller, yet no less impressive, acquisitions.

Metaplanet, one of the top five public companies by Bitcoin holdings, purchased 2,205 BTC today. At current prices, that would put its expenditure around $238.8 million. Last week, all the corporate acquisitions put together totaled $275 million, so Metaplanet nearly exceeded this alone in one day. For whatever reason, the trend may be accelerating. 🚀

Case in point, Genius Group increased its goal for a BTC stockpile to 10,000 today when it previously aimed for only 1,000. Last week, the company spent $2.1 million on Bitcoin, and it plans to use a “balanced mix of funding sources,” including revenues, BTC yields, and stock sales, to significantly expand its operations. It’s as if they’re preparing for a grand ball, and Bitcoin is the guest of honor. 🎭

These are some of the most ambitious firms, but the number of aspiring corporate whales is growing at a fast rate. DDC Enterprises announced a purchase of 230 bitcoins today, while the company only held 122 beforehand. Semler Scientific spent $20 million on acquisitions, maintaining a fast pace for steady growth. Several more companies bought smaller amounts, each adding to the cacophony of the Bitcoin symphony.

Semler Scientific has acquired 187 BTC for $20 million and has achieved BTC Yield of 29% YTD. Now holding 4,636 BTC. $SMLR

— Joe Burnett, MSBA (@IIICapital) July 7, 2025

All these companies are leaving the community with one question: what could this behavior do to Bitcoin? Some experts are already raising fears of a bubble, especially because some of these corporate holders are outperforming BTC itself. It’s difficult to predict how the markets will react to this trend, but one thing seems clear. These firms are speeding up, not slowing down. 🏎️

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2025-07-07 18:56