Bill Bryson Tackles the Biggest Bitcoin Heist Ever 🤑💰

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Well, well, well, what do we have here? Blockchain analytics firm Arkham has just pulled back the curtain on a little-known episode that could make your eyes water and your wallet cry. In December 2020, a Chinese mining pool called LuBian (which sounds like a character from a fairy tale, doesn’t it?) was hit by a hack so massive, it makes the Great Wall of China look like a garden fence. A whopping 127,426 BTC, worth about $3.5 billion at the time, vanished into thin air. That’s right, folks, the largest crypto theft in history! And if you’re keeping score at home, that haul would be worth a staggering $14.5 billion today. 🤩

“Neither LuBian nor the hacker has publicly acknowledged the hack,” the firm stated, adding a layer of mystery thicker than a Beijing fog. 🌫️

BREAKING: ARKHAM UNCOVERS $3.5B HEIST – THE LARGEST EVER

LuBian was a Chinese mining pool with facilities in China & Iran. Based on analysis of on-chain data, it appears that 127,426 BTC was stolen from LuBian in December 2020, worth $3.5 billion at the time and now worth…

— Arkham (@arkham) August 2, 2025

The breach, which managed to stay under the radar for a jaw-dropping four years, drained nearly all of LuBian’s holdings. This mining pool, once a top-ten global player with 6% of Bitcoin’s hash rate, mysteriously shut down in early 2021. At the time, everyone thought it was due to regulatory pressure, but it turns out the real reason was this catastrophic hack. Imagine closing your lemonade stand because someone stole all your lemons and the recipe! 😂

According to Arkham, the initial hack in December 2020 netted the thief over 90% of LuBian’s BTC. Later that month, an additional $6 million of BTC and USDT was siphoned from a LuBian address active on the Bitcoin Omni layer. The miner tried to salvage what was left, moving their remaining funds to recovery wallets at the end of December 2020. But it was too little, too late.

Arkham believes the theft was made possible by weak private key generation, making the system vulnerable to brute-force attacks. LuBian, in a desperate bid to recover the funds, sent over 1,500 small transactions with 1.4 BTC, each accompanied by a heartfelt plea for the return of the stolen goods. Alas, the hacker, who must have a heart of stone, never responded. 🙄

In the end, LuBian managed to preserve 11,886 BTC, currently worth $1.35 billion, which they still hold. However, the hacker still clings to the stolen BTC, with their last known movement being a wallet consolidation in July 2024. This makes the LuBian hacker the 13th largest Bitcoin holder on Arkham, putting them ahead of the infamous Mt. Gox hacker. Talk about a heist to remember! 💰

Big Year For Crypto Hacks

But wait, there’s more! Cybersecurity firm Certik reported that around $153 million was lost to exploits and scams in July alone. Of this, $86.6 million was attributed to incidents involving exchanges, while $55.4 million was lost due to code vulnerabilities. It seems the digital world is as full of pitfalls as a minefield. 🚧

#CertiKStatsAlert

Combining all the incidents in July we’ve confirmed ~$153M lost to exploits and scams.

~$86.6M is attributed to incidents involving exchanges.

Incidents related to code vulnerabilities represent ~$55.4M losses.

More details below

— CertiK Alert (@CertiKAlert) August 2, 2025

And if that wasn’t enough, Hacken reported that a staggering $3.1 billion has been lost in the first six months of 2025, marking DeFi’s “worst quarter since early 2023.” A surge in social engineering and AI-driven attacks is to blame, with losses already exceeding those of all of 2024. It’s a digital Wild West out there, folks, and the bandits are getting smarter. 🤠

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2025-08-04 09:05