Bitcoin & MSTR: Low Volatility, High Sarcasm, Zero Regrets 😎

What to know (or pretend to know):

  • Bitcoin volatility is so low, it’s basically a retirement plan now. 🧓 37% implied volatility? My blood pressure is higher after a bad parking job.
  • MSTR volatility dropped from “heart attack” levels (140%) to a mere “anxiety dream” (56%). Progress? 🤷‍♂️
  • Sharpe ratios: BTC at 2.15, MSTR at 2.00. Large-cap tech? More like “large-cap nap” at 1.0. 😴

So, MSTR-aka the company that’s basically a Bitcoin fanboy with a corporate budget-is holding strong with a Sharpe ratio of 2.00. Impressive? Sure. But let’s not act like they’re curing cancer here. They’re just really into Bitcoin. 🤑

A Sharpe ratio of 2? That’s financial jargon for “pretty good.” Basically, it means for every unit of risk, you’re getting double the reward. Or, in Larry David terms, it’s like ordering a pastrami sandwich and getting two pickles instead of one. 🥒🥒

Large-cap tech is just… there. Clustered around 1.0. Exciting stuff. Not. 😒

Data as of Aug. 14 (or 15, who’s counting?). According to the Strategy dashboard, which I’m sure is very important and not at all confusing. 📊

Volatility compression is the new black. Bitcoin’s at 37%, a two-year low. Market participants think it’s stable now. Or maybe they’re just tired of the drama. 🤷‍♂️ Vetle Lunde from K33 Research says low volatility means Bitcoin’s “mature.” Sure, Jan. Next thing you know, it’ll be asking for a glass of wine and a good book. 🍷📖

MSTR’s volatility is still higher at 56% because, let’s face it, it’s a leveraged Bitcoin proxy. But hey, at least it’s not 140% like last December. Baby steps. 👶

Valuation-wise, MSTR’s mNAV is 1.61. They say they won’t do an at-the-market offering until it hits 2.5. Unless, you know, they need to pay dividends or interest. Because priorities. 💸

Year-to-date: Bitcoin up 27%, MSTR up 24%. Not bad, but let’s not throw a parade. 🎉… actually, scratch that. Let’s throw a parade. Why not? 🎈

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2025-08-15 14:22