Bitcoin Chic: How Metaplanet Just Bought the Dip-Then Dipped! 😱💸

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At precisely the moment when respectable widows in Tokyo were still nervously fanning themselves over the grocery bill, Metaplanet-that plucky little company forever introduced at cocktail parties as “Asia’s MicroStrategy, darling”-sauntered into the market and scooped up 775 freshly minted electronic tulips (price tag: a cool 93 million USD) at around $120,006 a pop. Minutes later the petals began to droop and BTC slid to $115,200. Coincidence? Who can tell in a world where cartoons of shiba dogs purchase London townhouses. 🐕🏠

Balance-sheet brag-sheet: Metaplanet now cradles 18,888 BTC worth a theoretical $1.94 billion-average price $102,653. They are, by their own lights, 12 % in the money, and still riding the Ferris wheel with merry abandon. The FT would call this “prudent diversification”; Twitter calls it a paid vacation for their graphics intern.

Metaplanet has acquired 775 BTC for ~$93 million at ~$120,006 per bitcoin and has achieved BTC Yield of 480.2% YTD 2025. As of 8/18/2025, we hold 18,888 $BTC acquired for ~$1.94 billion at ~$102,653 per bitcoin. $MTPLF
– Simon Gerovich (@gerovich) August 18, 2025

Simon Gerovich, the firm’s excitable president, trumpeted on X-where decorum goes to die-that his pet rock had yielded 480.2 % year-to-date. Shares lapped it up: 900 yen each, a vertiginous 300 % climb in six months, though whether the asset is the coin or the kudos is becoming increasingly vague. 🤹

The whole carnival unfolded just after Metaplanet’s Q2 report revealed revenue up 41 % quarter-on-quarter-not bad for a firm whose main business seems to be explaining why they have no other business. Future plans? A modest 30,000 BTC by Hogmanay and a possessive 1 % of all bitcoin by 2027, presumably so they can lend it to aliens when fiat finally folds.

Growing Bitcoin Corporate Holdings

Paternoster Square, Silicon Valley, and assorted tax havens now jointly hug 935,000 BTC, roughly 4.45 % of the celestial stock. MicroStrategy-now calling itself “Strategy” as if monosyllables were more refined-still bosses the sandpit with 628,946 BTC. It is a comfort to know that if civilization collapses, some CFO in Virginia will sit atop a sofa made of cryptographic hash.

BTC price chart with volume | Source: Trading View

BTC Price Rising Wedge Breakdown

The analysts-those Cassandras in hoodies-have spotted a rising wedge on the daily chart, now confirmed broken. They wave their rulers and murmur of $110,000-$112,000, then possibly $105,000-$108,000, and in the final reel $98,000-$100,000 if panic truly seizes the innumerate masses.

$BTC Rising Wedge Breakdown is Confirmed on the Daily TF Chart..✅
📉 Potential Targets if breakdown continues:
First Support: 110k – 112k
Next demand zone: 105k – 108k
Extreme Bearish flush could eye 98k – 100k Psychological level
#Crypto #Bitcoin #BTC
– Captain Faibik 🐺 (@CryptoFaibik) August 18, 2025

As I write, our golden calf totters at $115,200, down 2.45 % in twenty-four hours-barely a flesh wound for the faithful, but enough to send the faint-hearted scurrying for herbal tea.

Bitcoin Hyper Captures Investor Attention

While the corporates play Scrooge McLedger, enter Bitcoin Hyper (ticker: HYPER), the shiny newer, faster, cheaper layer-2 bauble. HYPER promises to do everything Bitcoin does only while wearing trainers and juggling knives: speed, low fees, smart contracts-the lot. Seats on this rocket are on sale for a measly $0.012745 and $10.3 million has already vanished into this particular wormhole. ⏳🚀

HYPER Tokenomics and Presale Overview

  • Ticker: HYPER
  • Presale Price: $0.012745
  • Funds Raised: $10.3 million (and counting-the intern keeps refreshing the page)

In short, if you enjoy dicing with destiny before supper, knock at the official portal. Otherwise polish your monocle and recall that history rhymes, but the meter is rarely iambic. 😉

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2025-08-18 18:31