Investment Policy

On March 17, the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) and the Commodity Futures Trading Commission (CFTC), two regulatory giants with the dexterity of sleep-deprived tortoises, issued a joint-agency interpretive guidance. This document, penned in the densest legalese since the Treaty of Tordesillas, attempts to explain how federal securities laws apply to crypto assets and network transactions. One suspects the SEC’s legal team may have consulted a thesaurus written in hieroglyphs.

Now, the masses wonder: is there salvation beyond this abyss, or was it all a cunning trick, a rug pulled from under our eager, trembling hands?

Arizona Attorney General Kris Mayes, clearly not a fan of high-stakes predictions, filed a 20-count criminal information against KalshiEx LLC and Kalshi Trading LLC on March 17. The charge? Violating state gambling and election laws. Apparently, Kalshi forgot to send Arizona a thank-you card (or a business registration form) before letting residents bet on everything from the Super Bowl to who’ll win the 2028 presidential race. Oopsie!

According to data from Alphractal, Bitcoin is seeing very little activity from older coins, with the Coin Days Destroyed Multiple reaching its lowest point since 2022. This suggests that long-held Bitcoins are largely being held and not spent.