Bitcoin Billionaire Boss Moves: Saylor’s $7B Glow-Up 😎💰

by

Key Takeaways (Because Who Has Time for the Whole Story?)

Michael Saylor, the Bitcoin hoarder extraordinaire, has officially joined the “I’m Richer Than You” club with a net worth of $7.37 billion. Bloomberg’s like, “Yeah, we see you, crypto king.” 👑🚀

So, Michael Saylor (aka the guy who’s more into Bitcoin than a cat is into laser pointers) has finally cracked the Bloomberg Billionaire 500 list. His company, Strategy Inc. (formerly MicroStrategy, but let’s be real, no one’s calling it that anymore), is basically a Bitcoin treasure chest. 🧑‍💻💎

Since January, his fortune has ballooned by $1 billion, which is roughly the amount I spend on coffee in a year. Just kidding, I wish. Anyway, he’s now ranked 491st on the list, because even billionaires have to start somewhere. 🤑

Bloomberg’s like, “Hey, $650 million of that is in cash, but the real star is his $6.72 billion stake in MicroStrategy.” Meanwhile, I’m over here celebrating a $5 coupon for Chipotle. 🌯

Details of Saylor’s Wealth Breakup (Spoiler: It’s Mostly Bitcoin)

Let’s be clear: Saylor’s wealth is basically Bitcoin with a side of Bitcoin. Strategy Inc. holds the biggest publicly traded Bitcoin stash, which grew from 580,000 tokens in May 2025 to 629,376 by August. That’s a lot of digital coins, folks. 🪙✨

Saylor personally owns about 8% of the company, which is like owning 8% of a really expensive, really volatile piggy bank. According to Strategy’s 2025 proxy filing, he’s got 19.6 million Class B shares and 382,000 Class A shares. Fancy. 📈

Fun fact: Bloomberg’s like, “We can’t verify his personal Bitcoin holdings, so we’re not counting them.” Sorry, Michael, but your 17,732 BTC from 2020 isn’t making the cut. Maybe next time? 🤷‍♂️

He’s also sitting on $650 million in cash, mostly from selling MicroStrategy stock in 2024. Bloomberg’s all, “We adjusted for taxes and market fluctuations, so don’t get too excited.” 🎢

MSTR Stock Performance (Or: The Rollercoaster of Crypto)

MSTR stock is up 2.53% in the last 24 hours, but down 16.45% over the past month. It’s like the stock market is having a midlife crisis. Year-to-date, it’s up 12%, which is nice, but let’s not forget this company’s balance sheet is basically a Bitcoin mood ring. 🎡

Strategy’s $14 billion unrealized gain has everyone whispering about S&P 500 inclusion. If that happens, passive funds might buy $16 billion in shares. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves-Bitcoin’s still a wild card. 🃏

With a $90 billion market cap and active trading, Strategy’s a strong contender. If it happens, it’ll be a huge win for Saylor and crypto going mainstream. But until then, let’s just enjoy the ride. 🎢

Should Tesla Take Notes from Saylor? (Short Answer: Maybe Not)

Meanwhile, Tesla’s over here playing it cool with Bitcoin. Remember when they bought $1.5 billion worth in 2021 and then accepted it for payments? Good times. Then they were like, “Wait, environmental concerns!” and backtracked faster than I backtrack on my diet. 🌍🚗

By mid-2022, Tesla sold 75% of its holdings for nearly $1 billion in liquidity. Elon Musk was like, “We’re not abandoning Bitcoin, we’re just… strengthening our cash reserves.” Sure, Elon, sure. 🤔

So, while Saylor’s all-in on Bitcoin like it’s the last slice of pizza, Musk’s playing it safe. Two different strategies, but only one of them is on the Bloomberg Billionaire list. Just saying. 🍕

Read More

2025-09-07 21:16