The Great Bitcoin Whale Massacre: 220K BTC Gone! 😱🐋💸

According to the soothsayers at CryptoQuant (who gaze into glowing screens as if they were ancient flames), the mighty wallets-once swollen with promises of immutable wealth-have begun to deflate. These are no mere peasants moving pennies; these are the aristocrats of crypto, whose very breath can stir the markets. And now, they exhale… and the price shudders. As the sage CryptoBusy proclaimed from the digital mountain:

Banks Scream as Trump Squeezes Their Golden Goose 🏦💸

Citigroup, JPMorgan, Wells Fargo-names that usually inspire awe or nausea, depending on your tax bracket-tumbled like drunks after last call. Down they went, 1%, 2%, even 3%, as if the very earth beneath Wall Street had turned to quicksand. And Capital One? Poor Capital One. Down 7%, looking as sprightly as a deflated balloon at a birthday party. 🎈

Ether Empire: Bitmine’s Billion-Dollar Bonanza

Mr. Thomas Lee, the esteemed CEO of Ethereum DAT Bitmine (BMNR), has declared, with all the solemnity such matters require, that the company’s holdings now surpass $14 billion. This prodigious sum, comprising both cryptocurrency and liquid assets, has rendered the financial world agog with astonishment. 💰

Starmer’s Crypto Conundrum: Foreigners Want to Spoil the Party!

United Kingdom (U.K.) Prime Minister Keir Starmer now finds himself in the crosshairs of his own party’s more zealous members, who demand a full ban on cryptocurrency donations to political parties. This, they claim, is to thwart the nefarious schemes of foreign powers, who, it seems, are now using crypto and AI to play a game of political hide-and-seek with our electoral system. 🤖💸

ARC Raiders Players Complain of False Account Blocks and Bans

Tfue’s account ban isn’t an isolated incident. Many players are reporting they’ve been wrongly banned or had their accounts blocked for extended periods. This is happening shortly after the game developers, Embark Studios, announced improvements to their anti-cheat system, leading some to believe there’s an issue with the new system or an internal error.

Fired Rockstar Devs Denied Pay While Legal Battle Goes On

So, after everything went down, it looks like Rockstar might’ve been trying to stop people from forming a union, specifically targeting employees who were part of the IWGB in the UK. Rockstar says that’s totally not true, though – they’ve denied it completely. It’s a messy situation, and as a gamer, I’m hoping it gets resolved fairly.

Nintendo Switch 2 and Switch Get System Updates for January 2026

Nintendo has a lot to celebrate in 2026! Several of its biggest franchises will reach major milestones: The Legend of Zelda and Metroid will both be 40 years old, Pokémon will turn 30, and Animal Crossing will be 25. It’s also a big year for Nintendo consoles, with the Nintendo 3DS celebrating 15 years, the Game Boy Advance and GameCube reaching 25 years, and the Nintendo 64 turning 30. We can expect announcements and celebrations throughout the year, but Nintendo is also focused on continuing to support its current systems and keep players satisfied.

The Biggest Upcoming Open-World Adventure Games

2026 is shaping up to be an incredible year for open-world games, with highly anticipated releases planned almost every month. These games, from established developers, are expected to significantly impact the genre. We’ll be highlighting the biggest upcoming adventure games that put players in control, allowing them to explore freely while experiencing captivating stories and events.