Bitwise’s HYPE Train: ETF or Just Another Crypto Circus? 🎪

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In a move that surprised absolutely no one (except maybe the SEC’s coffee machine), asset manager Bitwise has filed paperwork to launch an ETF that holds Hyperliquid’s token, HYPE. Because nothing says “stable investment” like a token named after internet exaggeration. 🚂

The proposed Bitwise Hyperliquid ETF would, in theory, hold actual HYPE tokens-because apparently, the financial world has decided that “backed by real assets” now includes digital confetti. The filing is about as detailed as a politician’s promise, omitting key details like which exchange it’ll trade on, the ticker symbol, or, you know, how much it’ll cost. Priorities, people!

This grand unveiling comes just as Hyperliquid’s perpetual futures DEX throne is being challenged by Aster, whose token has surged past HYPE in trading volume like a caffeine-fueled trader at 3 AM. Because in crypto, today’s king is tomorrow’s jester. 👑➡️🤡

In-Kind Redemptions: Because Cash is So Last Century

Bitwise’s filing promises “in-kind redemptions,” meaning investors can swap shares for actual HYPE tokens instead of boring old dollars. This is either revolutionary or just a fancy way to avoid liquidity crunches-hard to tell in crypto land.

A very serious financial diagram (probably)

The SEC, in a rare moment of clarity (or perhaps exhaustion), approved in-kind redemptions for crypto ETFs in July, calling them “less costly and more efficient.” Translation: “Fine, do what you want, just stop emailing us.”

Step 1: File Paperwork. Step 2: ??? Step 3: Profit!

Bitwise’s Form S-1 is just the opening act in the ETF approval circus. Next up: Form 19b-4, which kicks off a bureaucratic waltz that could take up to 240 days. That’s enough time for Hyperliquid to moon, crash, moon again, and then get replaced by a meme coin called “FluffyDEX.”

The SEC recently streamlined crypto ETF approvals, but Bitwise casually noted that Hyperliquid futures aren’t registered with the CFTC. Minor detail, right? Surely nothing could go wrong. 🤷‍♂️

Aster’s Rise: Hyperliquid’s “Wait, Who?” Moment

Aster, the perpetual futures DEX that nobody saw coming (except maybe its devs), has rocketed past Hyperliquid in trading volume-$35.8 billion in 24 hours versus HYPE’s $10 billion. That’s like a food truck outselling McDonald’s. Or, in crypto terms, Tuesday.

Meanwhile, HYPE’s open interest dipped slightly, and its price fell 3.5% to $42.5. Because when life gives you volatility, you make margaritas and pretend you meant to do that. 🍹

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2025-09-26 06:49