Global markets took a nosedive faster than a wizard falling off a broomstick after U.S. President Donald Trump decided to play hardball with China. The crypto world, not one to be left out of a good disaster, saw $549 million in long positions vanish quicker than a goblin with a gold coin. 🧙♂️💨
Trump Declares War on China’s ‘Monopoly’ (No, Not the Board Game)
The financial world was sent into a tailspin when Trump, in a move that surprised absolutely no one, threatened tariffs on Chinese imports. The cause? China’s stranglehold on rare earth minerals-those shiny bits of rock that make your smartphone smarter than you. 🌍🔨
In a post on his Truth Social platform (because where else would he announce global economic chaos?), Trump accused China of holding the world “captive” with its near-total “monopoly.” He vowed to “financially counter” this move, adding that while it might hurt now, “it’ll be brilliant in the end for the U.S.A.” 🦅🇺🇸
The markets, ever the drama queens, reacted with the subtlety of a troll under a bridge. The S&P 500 shed $1.2 trillion in market capitalization, and gold, which had been having a jolly good week, briefly dipped below $4,000. Even the precious metals couldn’t escape the chaos. 🏛️💰
Cryptocurrency, the wild child of finance, was not immune. Bitcoin plummeted from $122,500 to $116,000-its lowest since early October. Ethereum dropped below $4,000, and XRP, SOL, and DOGE followed suit with losses of 3%, 5.7%, and 4.5%, respectively. Binance Coin, the odd one out, only lost 1%. Must’ve had a lucky charm. 🍀
As the markets spiraled, liquidations kicked in like a banshee at a tea party. Over $549 million in long positions were wiped out in four hours. Ethereum led the charge with $130 million in longs and $12.3 million in shorts. Bitcoin wasn’t far behind, with $264.3 million in liquidations-90% of which were long positions. Ouch. 😱
Other tokens joined the liquidation party: Solana lost $20 million, XRP shed $21 million, WLFI saw $18.71 million disappear, and XPL had $15.78 million liquidated. By 3 p.m. EST, a staggering $1.3 billion in leveraged contracts had been liquidated, affecting over 250,000 traders. That’s a lot of tears and tantrums. 😭💸
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2025-10-10 23:57