Ah, the sweet, bitter sting of hindsight! Over forty percent of Australia’s youth-those sprightly Gen Zs and Millennials-now rue the day they let Bitcoin slip through their fingers like sand at the beach. Swyftx, that modern-day alchemist of crypto, claims this neglect ranks among their greatest fiscal follies of the past decade. One wonders if they’ll trade their regrets for gold-or at least a decent cup of coffee.
The YouGov survey, that digital oracle of trends, interrogated 3,009 souls and unearthed a truth as plain as a kangaroo’s kick: nearly half of the under-35s missed the crypto train. Hardly surprising, given the alternative was buying property or Big Tech shares. But who needs shelter or innovation when you can daydream about $400 Bitcoin? 😂
Swyftx, ever the philosopher, blames the FOMO on corporations and pension funds hoarding BTC and ETH like greedy magpies. Meanwhile, in 2015, Bitcoin fluttered between $172 and $465, a mere whisper compared to its current $107,505 roar. One imagines investors then chuckling at their own restraint, or perhaps weeping into their Vegemite.
Crypto seen as a way to solve housing crisis
A Swyftx spokesperson, that sage of the digital age, opines that young Australians feel “locked out” of the property market. With Australia ranked sixth in global unaffordability (behind nations where a loaf of bread costs more than a Russian serf’s ox), crypto now dangles like a lifeline. “Housing unaffordability at this scale is a predicament other generations didn’t face,” they sigh, as if reciting a Tolstoy novel. Crypto, they say, is the “opportunity to get ahead”-though one might argue it’s the opportunity to get ahead of the queue for therapy.
“Housing unaffordability at this scale is a predicament other generations didn’t face and crypto is seen as an opportunity to get ahead.”
“Young investors crave high beta assets,” the spokesperson adds, “and they generally understand the asset class pretty well.” One hopes their understanding extends beyond the word “volatility.”
Overall, 80% of under-50s regret their investment choices. A statistic so profound it could make a monk weep-or at least pause to check his wallet.
Younger Australians swapping to crypto over stocks
The gap between crypto and stock buyers has halved since 2022, a shift that would make even a koala blink twice. Swyftx CEO Jason Titman predicts a future where Australians buy Bitcoin and shares with equal vigor-assuming regulators stop playing hide-and-seek with investor protections.
“Regulation is key to a ‘big bang of investment,’” the spokesperson declares, as if summoning a phoenix from paperwork. They cite the US, where Morgan Stanley now dances with crypto, proving that even banks can learn to tango.
“We can already see the halo effect of regulatory certainty playing out in the US…”
Australia’s Labor Party, ever the slow-moving tortoise, proposed a crypto framework in March. One wonders if it will arrive before the next bear market.
Gen Zs topping up income with crypto
Gen Z, those digital-age sages aged 15-29, now mine crypto to supplement incomes. With an average profit of $9,958 (among 82% of investors), they’ve mastered the art of turning volatility into victory. “Our Gen Z clients have longer horizons,” the spokesperson muses, “and aren’t phased by Bitcoin’s annualized chaos.” A generation raised on TikTok and turbulence-truly, the heirs to the future.
And so, Australia’s youth march forward, clutching crypto like a talisman. Whether they’ll build mansions or merely afford a couch remains to be seen. But as Pasternak might whisper: “The price of a dream is never cheap-it’s just someone else’s currency.” 💰📉
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2025-10-23 04:35