Crypto’s Great Crash: $2B Vanishes in 24 Hours 🚀💸

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The land of digital gold cracked open like a dry creek bed, spilling nearly $2 billion in liquidations as the market’s cap shrunk to a size last seen when your neighbor still had a job.

Bitcoin, that old grifter with a grin, accounted for half the carnage, leaving longs-those fools who bet on sunshine-scrambling like gophers with their holes collapsing. Shorts? They just stood there, smug as a cat in a sunbeam, pocketing $129.3 million while the rest of us wept into our coffee.

A Tsunami of Bad Decisions Sweeps Through the Blockchain Desert

Per Coinglass, the crypto plains erupted in chaos. In 24 hours, 391,164 souls were liquidated-think of it as a biblical plague, but with more zeroes and fewer plagues. Total liquidations hit $1.91 billion, a number so large it makes a billionaire blush.

Longs, those modern-day alchemists, lost $1.78 billion betting on a future that never showed up. Shorts? Just $129.3 million, because why not? The grandest single wipeout happened on Hyperliquid, where a BTC-USD position worth $36.78 million vanished faster than your ex’s texts after a breakup.

Bitcoin led the funeral march, liquidating $929 million from longs (and $31 million from shorts, because even the dead have to pay rent). Ethereum followed, coughing up $403.15 million as its price dipped below $2,900. The whales? They were flung from their thrones like drunken sailors off a mast.

PeckShieldAlert noted that ETH’s big fish were netted in the dragnet, their fortunes shrinking from “whale” to “goldfish” overnight. Losses ranged from $2.9 million to $6.52 million-enough to buy a small island, if islands weren’t already taken.

Lookonchain, that digital oracle, revealed Machi’s account now sits at $15,538, a far cry from his $20 million heyday. Meanwhile, the “Anti-CZ Whale” saw his profits plummet from $100 million to $30.4 million in 10 days. Leverage, that cursed albatross, did the honors.

“Once a titan, now a footnote,” Lookonchain sighed, as if mourning a fallen star.

Andrew Tate, that self-proclaimed king of everything, opened another BTC long today and got liquidated again-his 84th strikeout on Hyperliquid. A record, perhaps? 🐝

– Lookonchain (@lookonchain) November 21, 2025

This sell-off came as the market cap dropped 6% to $2.9 trillion, a slide that would make a rollercoaster blush. The Kobeissi Letter called it a “mechanical bear market,” where leverage and panic form a feedback loop tighter than a bank vault.

“Faster than a wildfire, slower than a bureaucracy,” the Letter mused.

And yet, they say the market is efficient. Like a well-oiled machine, it grinds itself down, then rebuilds. Or maybe it just coughs up ashes and calls it a day. Either way, the gophers keep digging.

“No fundamentals, just math,” the Kobeissi Letter declared. “It’ll sort itself out. Probably.”

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2025-11-21 12:52