In a twist straight out of a satirical novel, a motley crew of European financial giants has conspired under the grand banner of Qivalis-because what could possibly go wrong-set to unleash a €-pegged crypto creature upon the unsuspecting world by the second half of 2026. 🎭
The Tenth Muse in the Bankopoly Game
It all began last September, when nine venerable European banks, dressed in their most serious faces, declared their noble quest: to craft and launch a stablecoin anchored firmly to the Euro-because obviously, USD is so last century. This digital asset will attempt to wrestle the dominance of the US dollar’s titanic grip-those USDT and USDC monsters that gobble up nearly 85% of the market pie, leaving crumbs for the rest of us mere mortals. 🍰
Leading the charge were juggernauts like ING, Banca Sella, KBC, Danske Bank, DekaBank, UniCredit, SEB, CaixaBank, and Raiffeisen-definitely a list to make Wall Street sweat. And just when you thought the stakes couldn’t get any higher, the French bank BNP Paribas – the second largest in all of Europe, and the eighth across the globe, with a modest $2.8 trillion of assets-bowed in, bringing the total to an even dozen. Because what’s a party without a dozen financial giants? 🥳
BNP, that globe-trotting G-SIB (that’s Financial Speak for “Bank That Knows Too Much and Is Probably Too Big to Fail”), is now integral to the grand ballet of financial stability-at least, according to the folks who keep the world turning. Meanwhile, ING, also part of this parade, is comfortably ensconced in its own “important but not too important” tier of global finance. 🏦
The masterminds behind this ceilidh of currencies have established a Dutch-based monolith-an enterprise named Qivalis, because why not add a dash of mystique?-tasked with issuing this euro-stablecoin. They’re hunting for a shiny electronic money license from the Dutch Central Bank, aiming to debut their euro-trooper in 2026, aligned with the EU’s strict crypto regulations-keeping things orderly, or so they say. 📜
Leading the charge is (drumroll, please) Jan-Oliver Sell, whose previous exploits include stints at Coinbase Germany and Binance. His wise words: “A native Euro stablecoin isn’t just about convenience-it’s about asserting monetary autonomy in the digital age.” Because surely, the world depends on it, right? 🤔
Apparently, the doors are wide open for more banks to jump on this lucrative (or at least entertaining) bandwagon. Rumor has it that Citigroup might be lurking around, but so far, their presence remains as elusive as Bigfoot in finance conferences. 🕵️♂️
Meanwhile, amidst the swirling chaos, PayPal’s PYUSD is doing its own botched ballet-rising sharply from $1.2 billion in September to a staggering $3.8 billion today. Seems everyone’s eager to see if digital dollars really stick around, or just dance away into the sunset. 🕺💰
The above chart showcases the meteoric rise of PayPal’s stablecoin-proof that in the world of digital currencies, what goes up must probably be heavily scrutinized and perhaps a little bit funnier.
The Brief, Fluctuating Saga of Bitcoin
As for Bitcoin-our old, tired hero-it’s currently trading around $92,800, having increased more than 7% over the past week. It’s almost as if it knows something everyone else doesn’t. Or perhaps it’s just enjoying the chaos. 📈
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2025-12-04 09:14