💰 Crypto IPO? You Won’t BELIEVE the Number! 🤯

They say money doesn’t grow on trees, but these crypto fellas seem mighty determined to make it sprout from the digital ether. BitGo, a firm that keeps other people’s funny money safe – for a price, of course – is fixin’ to try its luck on the stock market. They’re aimin’ for a valuation of up to a billion and ninety-six million dollars. A pile, even for folks accustomed to numbers floatin’ in the cloud.

They’re lookin’ to scrape together around two hundred million, sellin’ off eleven million shares. Fifteen to seventeen bucks a pop. Seems like a fair price if you believe in magic beans… or, you know, digital coins. 🤷

A Nervous Kind of Hope

BitGo’s been at this crypto custody game since 2013, which in internet years, is practically the Stone Age. They’re good at lockin’ things up, this much is clear. Maybe too good, given how often folks lose passwords. With more and more big companies pokin’ around in the crypto pool, someone’s gotta guard the gate, I reckon.

Circle and Bullish already took a swing at this public market jig, and didn’t fall flat on their faces, so BitGo figures, why not? Though Kraken is waitin’ in the wings too same as a vulture. But the whole market’s been jittery – last October was a rough patch, wiped out twenty billion dollars of somebody’s dreams. Plus, everyone’s suddenly worried about fancy AI stuff and tech being overvalued. Makes a man yearn for a simpler time, like when a dollar was a dollar. 🤔

This fella, Lukas Muehlbauer at IPOX, says folks are gettin’ scared of risk. They want companies that are… well, established. And regulated. Which, for crypto, is a bit like lookin’ for a sober man at a whiskey tasting. But BitGo’s got a fancy trust charter from the feds, so maybe they reckon they look respectable enough.

The Hopes and Dreams of a Custodian

They’re hopin’ things’ll settle down by 2026, when smaller companies might have a better chance. Seems like a lot of waitin’ and hopin’ for a company dealin’ in a world built on instant gratification. They got Goldman Sachs and a whole swarm of other banks helpin’ them out with this IPO, which means a lot of suits are makin’ a lot of money, no matter how it turns out. 💸

They’re plannin’ to trade on the New York Stock Exchange under the ticker “BTGO.” Sounds about right. And they’re one of just a few crypto companies that managed to convince the government they’re trustworthy enough to be an actual bank. Imagine that! A digital bank. Makes you wonder if they keep your money in actual vaults, or just on a really, really secure hard drive.

This trust charter lets ‘em move money around faster. Speed is good, I suppose, especially when dealing with a bunch of electrons flyin’ around.

2026-01-13 09:13

A Nervous Kind of Hope

The Hopes and Dreams of a Custodian

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