Investment Policy

Multinational bank Barclays (BARC) is apparently spicing up its portfolio by exploring a blockchain platform for payments, Bloomberg exclaimed on a thrilling Friday.

According to whispers in the marble halls of finance, Barclays has issued a request for information, a document as dry as a summer in the steppe, to potential suppliers. The aim? To cater to its “diverse customer base,” a phrase as vague as a foggy morning in St. Petersburg. By April, they hope to select a supplier-a deadline as ambitious as a peasant’s dream of owning a manor.

Bitcoin started the week like a toddler having a meltdown, chopping to the downside. Monday was a disaster, dropping from $67K to $64K. Then, because why not, it did a dead cat bounce and plummeted to $63K. Sentiment? Down bad. Crypto Twitter? A bunch of sad clowns. But then, miracle of miracles, Bitcoin started recovering-notably. It soared from $63K to $70K in less than two days. But of course, the bears had other plans, pushing it back down to $66K. Still in “extreme fear” according to the Fear and Greed index. Because nothing says “confidence” like a 100% chance of a bear market.

The crypto market’s latest drama? Volatility, baby! LUNC’s sprint to glory was more of a TikTok dance than a marathon. While the price briefly looked like it had a plan, the underlying metrics are throwing shade. Spoiler: It’s all about the momentum, not the substance.

United States authorities, with the gravity of a man who’s just seen his last corn crop drowned in mud, announced a grand crusade against global crypto fraud. The Department of Justice, in a press release that read like a Sunday school story for blockchain enthusiasts, declared the seizure of over $580 million in digital assets. These funds, they claimed, were siphoned by transnational scam gangs-though one suspects they’d rather be siphoning maple syrup in a quieter life.

The realized volatility, that most capricious of companions, reached 0.97, the highest since March 2025, signaling a tempest of repricing and wider daily ranges. This volatility spike, a fierce battle between buyers and sellers, saw positions reallocating amid consolidation in mid-range support-though one might call it a farce of indecision.