Because who doesn’t love a good Bitcoin windfall? 🤑 Tesla, the e-car manufacturer that’s been saving the world (or not), has reported a smart $600 million profit from its Bitcoin holdings. And it’s all thanks to a new accounting rule that lets it report its Bitcoin at its current market value. Because who needs good old-fashioned actual accounting? 🤪
Apparently, Tesla was clever enough in 2021 to buy some Bitcoin, and then just as wisely decided to sell a chunk of it (around 75%) since then. But, you know, smart money don’t go out of style. The company’s total Bitcoin holdings are now a respectable $1.1 billion. If only they’d held onto it all, they’d be swimming in nearly $2.4 billion! 🐢
And That’s What’s Propping Up Tesla’s Earnings
Tesla’s shares are up 4% in pre-market trading, a nice recovery from the 2% dip they took on Wednesday. The Bitcoin profit made them go from being slightly disappointing to being just-adequate enough to meet investor expectations. Yay, math! 🤔
“Stripe out the $0.15 per share gain from Tesla’s Bitcoin sale, and Q4 EPS was $0.58 – a 25% miss vs consensus estimates of $0.77,” said a Tesla bear who’s clearly losing it. (Motorhead @BradMunchen)
Investors, however, were like, “Hey, robotaxi promises are cool! And those sales predictions for 2025 look bright! And, oh yeah, those affordable models will be here before we know it.” You know, just what the market needed – some half-baked plans and empty promises. 🎉
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2025-01-30 12:19