In the latest rigmarole of the XRP saga, a former SEC bigwig, John Reed Stark, has let slip that the lawsuit against Ripple is likely to be chucked out on terms so favorable, one might think Santa Claus was presiding. Stark, once the grand pooh-bah of the SEC’s cyber-police, took to his blog on the 18th of February, hinting that the SEC’s crypto-bullying days are numbered.
SEC’s Crypto-Crackdown Crumbles Like a Biscuit
Stark’s little missive comes hot on the heels of the SEC’s sudden attack of cold feet in its cases against Coinbase and Binance. “SEC crypto-enforcement is as lively as a doornail,” quipped Stark, drawing parallels that would make a geometry teacher weep with joy.
According to Stark, the SEC’s new Crypto Task Force might as well be a “Let’s Make Friends with Crypto” club, given their recent actions. He mused, “Winning cases? Pish posh! That’s so last regime. Now it’s all about handing out participation trophies and calling it a day.”
The SEC, in a move that can only be described as a tactical retreat, has informed the Second Circuit that they need more time to sort out their crypto feelings. A joint motion that reads like a bad break-up text message seeks “additional time for appropriate review,” which roughly translates to “We’re confused, please don’t sue us.”
With the SEC’s crypto-litigation stance softer than a marshmallow, Stark foresees a similar sugar-coated outcome for the XRP lawsuit. Ripple has been locked in a legal tango with the SEC since 2020, and a ruling last July gave the SEC a good slap on the wrist, much to everyone’s amusement.
Stark predicts a future where crypto lawsuits are as common as dodos. “Expect the SEC to either pause or chuck their appeal against Ripple. It’s like watching a cat try to chase its own tail,” he jested.
The SEC’s crypto enforcement division has undergone a rebranding that’s as effective as slapping a new sticker on a broken-down car. The once-feared Crypto Assets and Cyber Unit is now the Cyber and Emerging Technologies Unit, which sounds about as intimidating as a fluffy bunny.
“The SEC’s crypto-enforcement program is in full self-destruct mode,” Stark observed, noting that even the SEC’s top crypto-bashers are being reassigned to jobs that involve less litigation and more tea-brewing.
Stark’s crystal ball reveals a future where crypto lawsuits are about as likely as a snowball’s chance in hell. He outlines three predictions: First, crypto investigations will slow to a crawl. Second, active lawsuits will be resolved with a generosity that would make Scrooge blush. Third, legal appeals will be dropped like a hot potato.
Despite past rulings that some digital assets are as much securities as a chocolate teapot, Stark declares these precedents “as useful as a screen door on a submarine.” He concludes with a flourish, “The SEC crypto-enforcement is deader than a doornail. RIP and good riddance.”
As the ink dries on this article, XRP is trading at a princely sum of $2.60. 🤑
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2025-02-19 04:43