XRP Derivatives Contracts to Arrive on Major Japanese Exchange, Bitcoin Records Worst February in 11 Years, Ripple Appeal Dismissal Likely Next, SEC Veteran Says: Crypto News Digest by U.Today

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Well, folks, grab your digital wallets and hold onto your butts; the crypto rollercoaster is about to take a sharp, thrilling turn! 🎢 U.Today introduces the top three news nuggets from the great digital frontier!

XRP derivatives contracts: Now in Japan, because why not?

It appears that bitFlyer, the Japanese crypto exchange, has decided that it’s time for a little extra spice in the crypto stew. They’ve predictably added XRP and ETH to their “bitFlyer Crypto CFD” menu, akin to how I’d add bacon to a salad—totally unnecessary yet deliciously enticing. CFDs, those cheeky Contracts for Differences, let you speculate on price movements without ever having to actually, you know, hold the digital asset. Last I checked, that was kind of like saying you can enjoy a pizza without the calories: sounds great in theory until you get to the part of actually needing to eat. 🍕 So here we are: BTC-CFD/JPY gets some new dinner guests, and I can’t help but wonder if XRP will finally make it to the dessert table.

Bitcoin’s February: A sorry sight indeed

Folks, Bitcoins seem to be suffering an identity crisis. Despite the U.S. stock market rocking a green hue yesterday, Bitcoin decided to saunter down to $85,400—gasp! That’s the worst February Bitcoin has had since, wait for it… 2014! Talk about ancient history, right? It’s been a glorious eleven years since Bitcoin hit a cringe-worthy 33.7% correction. If I had that kind of portfolio performance, I’d need a drink stronger than my morning coffee. Historical trends predict an average March return of 11.8%—but of course, Bitcoin says “hold my beer” and prepares to surprise everyone with a -2.10% instead. 🥴 Cheers!

SEC vs. Ripple: The Netflix thriller continues

Ex-SEC enforcement attorney John Reed Stark recently threw down his best guess: “I predict the SEC will tiptoe away from the Ripple lawsuit faster than I would from a party with bad cheese.” Apparently, Stark noticed that the SEC has been too busy cleaning up after itself in other legal messes to pay much attention to Ripple. As if they’ve realized they’re late to the party and are now whispering sweet nothings of “let’s wrap this up, shall we?” Meanwhile, Coinbase’s case was tossed without so much as a fine or a “sorry, not sorry,” leaving Brian Armstrong rolling his eyes and probably thinking about a vacation. Well, here’s hoping the Ripple case can finally find some closure before we all get too gray! 😅

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2025-02-27 18:59