The Ripple Affair: A Comedy of Interests and Tokens

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Ah! David Schwartz, the astute chief architect of that grand enterprise known as Ripple, hath taken it upon himself to enlighten the masses! He doth declare with all the pomposity of a nobleman, that this illustrious company shan’t be throwing itself upon the swords of others’ interests, forsooth! 😏

In an exhibition of profound comparison, Schwartz, with the grandiosity akin to that of an art connoisseur, doth liken XRP tokens to precious masterpieces! “Pray tell,” he muses, “should I possess an artwork from the artist’s infancy, should I not wish for them to create new masterpieces that may hoist the value of my treasure?” Indeed, what a noble thought! 🎨

This proclamation follows after the daring Pierre Rochard of Riot Platform hath boldly argued that XRP be not a security! A claim as audacious as a cat walking on a tightrope! Forsooth, he believes Ripple hath bestowed no utility upon the poor holders of this token. How very generous of them! 😹

Julian Fahrer, a Bitcoin advocate with wit so sharp it could cut glass, quips, “XRP hath no enterprise, no mere expectation of profit (or anything else for that matter), and the only efforts thus far seem to serve the K Street lobbyists, as if that were a noble pursuit!” How delightful, indeed! 🧐

Gilded Claims of Excess!

Now, Schwartz, with the flourish of a courtier, hath revealed that Ripple shall remain a lively participant in this ever-enthralling charade for a considerable time to come. “Verily,” he proclaims, “we possess more XRP than any sane man could hope to monetize within a fortnight, thus, fear not, dear spectators! We shan’t depart anytime soon!” 😂

As the illustrious report from U.Today proclaims, the magnanimous CEO, Brad Garlinghouse, hath confirmed that Ripple holds a staggering treasury of over $100 billion in XRP tokens! Truly, it’s lavishness beyond compare! 💸

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2025-03-05 11:45