Saylor’s HUGE Bitcoin Blunder! 😲 You Won’t Believe What Happened!

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Right then, listen up! Michael Saylor’s awfully important company, Strategy – you know, the one that’s got more Bitcoins than you’ve had hot dinners – well, they’ve gone and done a funny thing. Seems they didn’t buy any more of those digital doohickeys last week, even though the price took a bit of a tumble. Down below $87,000, it went! Can you imagine? 😱

According to a terribly official document they sent to the US Securities and Exchange Commission (try saying that three times fast!), Strategy didn’t splash any cash on Bitcoin (BTC) between March 31 and April 6. Not a single, solitary one! 🙅‍♂️

Now, this all happened after a week of market shenanigans. Bitcoin shot up to a dizzying $87,000 on April 2, after starting the week at a measly $82,000. Talk about a rollercoaster! 🎢 (Thanks, CoinGecko, for keeping score.)

But then, blimey, it fell! Bitcoin went all the way down to below $80,000 on April 6. That’s quite a discount, mind you, compared to what Strategy paid for their last batch of 22,000 Bitcoins. They announced that splurge on March 31. Fancy that! 🧐

Strategy Reports a Whopping Great Loss! 💰😭

And here’s a bit of a giggle: it seems Strategy didn’t sell any of their shares either – those Class A Common Stock things they usually flog to pay for their Bitcoin addiction. Oh dear, oh dear! 🙈

So, by April 7, Strategy was sitting on a mountain of 528,185 Bitcoins, which they bought for a staggering $35.63 billion. That’s an average price of $67,458 per Bitcoin. Cor blimey! 😲

“Our unrealized loss on digital assets for the quarter ended March 31, 2025, was $5.91 billion,” the official document droned on. “Which means we’re going to have a net loss, but don’t worry, we get a tax break of $1.69 billion.” Tax break? More like a tax disaster! 🤦‍♀️

“Bitcoin is Most Volatile Because It Is Most Useful” – Says Who?!

While Strategy was being all sensible and not buying Bitcoins, Mr. Saylor, the company’s former big cheese, was still banging on about how wonderful Bitcoin is on social media. Bless his cotton socks! 🙏

“Bitcoin is most volatile because it is most useful,” he tweeted on April 3, just after Bitcoin had a bit of a wobble thanks to President Trump’s tariff announcement. Honestly, some people! 🙄

“Today’s market reaction to tariffs is a reminder: inflation is just the tip of the iceberg,” Saylor blustered in another tweet. 🧊

“Capital faces dilution from taxes, regulation, competition, obsolescence, and unforeseen events. Bitcoin offers resilience in a world full of hidden risks,” he added. Resilience? More like a good way to lose your shirt! 👔

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2025-04-07 16:17