Cathie’s Crypto Coup: A Jaw-Dropping Coin Move

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Well now, dear reader, it appears Miss Cathie Wood and her band of merry Ark Invest folks have once again dipped their toes into the Coinbase pond—on April 7, no less. One might say they have the gumption of a gambler who bought a paddleboat upstream without checking the rapids. 🚣‍♂️

Several crypto savants clutched their monocles and declared the timing “strategic,” since this deed was done just when the globe decided to have a market-sized meltdown that caused investors to tremble more than a long-tailed cat in a rocking chair factory. 😼💺

Ark Invest Buys $13.3 Million Worth of Coinbase Shares

Legend has it (or so the paperwork says) that ARK stuffed its coffers with 84,514 Coinbase shares—about $13.3 million. And this buying frenzy happened across not one, but two of Ark’s exchange-traded funds, because why settle for one pie slice if you can eat the whole darn pie? 🥧

Now, in a separate dossier, Ark was said to have snatched 41,032 shares of Coinbase for its Next Generation Internet ETF (ARKW). At the time they counted beans in February, this was priced at a tidy $8.7 million. But numbers are slippery rascals, so Ark’s filing finally revealed that they ended up with 64,806 shares worth somewhere in the neighborhood of $10.2 million for ARKW. Then for dessert, Fintech Innovation ETF (ARKF) tossed in another 19,708 shares at about $3.1 million. Clearly, they were in a buying mood, like a kid in a candy store with a wagonful of pocket change. 🍬

Though Coinbase shares decided to nap by dropping 2.04% and closing at $157.28, they sprang back up in after-hours trading like a daisy after a spring hailstorm—climbing 2.68% to $161.50, courtesy of them Google Finance folks.

Funnily enough, this buying spree was paired with Ark Invest dropping 159,496 shares of its ARK 21Shares Bitcoin ETF (ARKB) on the exact same day, worth around $12.4 million. According to SoSoValue (which must be a cousin of SoSoReliable), the ARKB spot Bitcoin fund felt net outflows of $4.69 million on April 7. Seems Ark was flipping coins like a fairground hustler. 🎩

As it stands, Coinbase presently hogs a sizable portion of Ark’s portfolio. It hogs nearly 6% in ARKW, making it the fourth-largest lad in that family. Then it flexes at a mighty 7.65% in ARKF, coming in second place. Clearly, Ark has a soft spot for digital coin contraptions.

Global Market and Crypto See Sharp Sell-Off

‘Twas also worth a nod that Ark Invest’s Coinbase purchase came during a day that spooked the entire financial world like a sudden thunderclap on a Sunday picnic. US and Asian markets both stumbled harder than a fella who forgot to tie his shoelaces—Shanghai Composite down 7.3%, Japan’s Nikkei 225 down 7.8%, and folks calling it the worst drubbing since your uncle tried to juggle flaming torches at a family reunion. 🔥

The Dow Jones Industrial Average slumped 0.91%, the S&P 500 tripped 0.23%, but the Nasdaq Composite managed a tiny hop of about 0.10%. Meanwhile, in Cryptoville, Bitcoin dipped to a knee at $75,053—likely scaring everyone from day-traders to your Aunt Martha’s chihuahua—before popping back up to $80,246, up 3.64% in 24 hours. Talk about a showman.

By scooping up Coinbase shares like hotcakes off the griddle on such a fretful day, Ark Invest practically hollered, “We still believe!” Maybe they’re hoping history will look kindly on those who buy the dip—just like a clever fella who rummages a discount bin for a hidden treasure. Or maybe they’re just as fond of a wild plunge as Mark Twain was of tall tales—tipping their hat for the next big show. 🤠

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2025-04-08 17:26