Bitcoin to $100K? Analysts Say Yes, But Only After a Nap

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Crypto analyst Colin, who apparently moonlights as a fortune teller, has declared that Bitcoin’s relationship with the Global M2 money supply is still as bullish as a bull in a china shop. According to him, the flagship crypto is about to blast past $100,000 and set a new all-time high (ATH) faster than you can say “HODL.” 🚀

In a post on X (formerly Twitter, for those of you still catching up), Colin pointed out that the Global M2 has been at an all-time high for three whole days. “Fantastic sign,” he said, as if he were describing a particularly well-baked soufflé. But don’t get too excited—he also warned that it might take a few weeks before this liquidity tsunami actually reaches Bitcoin. His chart, which looks like it was drawn by a toddler with a crayon, suggests BTC could soar to $144,000. Sure, Colin. Sure. 📈

In the meantime, Colin predicts there might be another dip-buying opportunity because the Global M2 is apparently taking a leisurely stroll until mid-April. “Slow bleed,” he called it, which sounds more like a medical condition than a financial forecast. But hey, if you’re into buying the dip, this might be your moment. Just don’t hold your breath for the big blast-off—Colin’s chart suggests it might not happen until May. 🕰️

Colin also had some stern words for the doubters and flip-floppers out there. “The Global M2 is a macro chart,” he said, as if he were explaining quantum physics to a goldfish. “Zoom out, people!” He added that we shouldn’t freak out over every little price movement, even if Bitcoin decides to take a nosedive. Apparently, the Global M2 deviates 20% of the time due to “mathematical correlation,” which is just a fancy way of saying, “Sometimes stuff happens.” 🤷‍♂️

Meanwhile, another analyst, Titan of Crypto (because apparently, all crypto analysts have superhero names), chimed in with his own prediction. He claimed that a Bitcoin momentum flip might be happening, which sounds like something you’d see in a gymnastics routine. According to him, the LMACD is showing a clear shift in momentum, and the weekly chart is looking stronger than a bodybuilder on protein shakes. His chart suggests BTC could reclaim $90,000. 🏋️‍♂️

In another X post, Titan of Crypto declared that a major breakout is on the horizon. “The weekly RSI just broke its trendline,” he said, as if that were supposed to mean something to the average person. He believes BTC is on the verge of a reversal, which is crypto-speak for “Hold onto your hats, folks!” 🎢

At the time of writing, Bitcoin is trading at around $85,400, up over 1% in the last 24 hours. So, if you’re into watching numbers go up and down, this is your moment. Just remember: patience is a virtue, and so is not panicking when your portfolio turns red. 🚨

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2025-04-15 22:12