The SEC’s Secret Ethereum Files Finally Leaked — You Won’t Believe What They Hid! 🕵️‍♂️

by

In the dim corridors of bureaucratic labyrinths, Coinbase stumbled upon dusty scrolls from the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission, texts murmuring secrets about Ethereum 2.0’s fate. A Freedom of Information Act lawsuit, that noble spear against shadowed silence, pried open the agency’s vaults.

Paul Grewal, a man with legal armor and a Twitter herald’s flair, declared on X that the SEC, perhaps reluctantly, revealed a litany of withheld scribbles.

Within these parchments lies the curious May 2022 dissection of ETH 2.0 under the mysterious Howey test—a logic puzzle that cryptos apparently must survive. There’s also a February 2023 email—written, one presumes, with much coffee—wondering aloud if Ethereum truly fits the SEC’s puzzle pieces labeled “security.” An April 2023 memo prepared for the inquisitors before they opened their Ethereum 2.0 dossier sits uneasily among them. And, oh, the case’s closing statement, presumably written with a sigh and a shrug.

At first, the SEC played the wise gatekeeper, invoking Exemption 7(A)—a fancy legal cloak for “ongoing investigations, keep away.” Yet, when the Ethereum 2.0 case was laid to rest without scandal or charges, even the SEC whispered that perhaps this cloak need not be worn anymore. Naturally, they proposed a leisurely three-year review of 132,000 documents, possibly to perfect the art of bureaucracy or simply because cat videos require breaks.

Grewal, armed with a mixture of bemusement and righteous indignation, questioned the SEC’s puzzling double standards: how had Ethereum passed their “ecosystem” test with flying colors while others languished in limbo? He demands a spotlight on these shadow plays to prevent regulators from stumbling over the same stones in future acts.

Coinbase vs. SEC: The Crypto Duel Continues

This courtroom drama is but one chapter in Coinbase’s grand saga against regulatory fog. Charging that the SEC’s approach resembles a tempest of confusion rather than clarity, Coinbase has launched multiple legal arrows at the SEC and the FDIC for denying FOIA requests on their past crypto escapades.

Will transparency dawn upon these elusive halls, or will cryptic documents forever drift in the mists of redaction? Stay tuned, dear reader—it’s a tale as riveting as any Anton Chekhov might dream… but with more lawsuits and fewer tragic embraces.

Read More

2025-04-21 22:36