Good morning, darling. You’ve stumbled into the US Morning Crypto Follies—a sparkling little digest for those who prefer their news shaken, not stirred, preferably with a splash of scandal and a twist of absurdity. ☕️💼
Before you face the cruel light of day, may I suggest a robust coffee (or something stronger)? Today, we peer into the feverish minds of those wagering fortunes on the XRP ETF, that elusive chimera of American finance. Apparently, everyone from hedge-fund aristocrats to the chap who sells macchiatos on Wall Street is wagering on ripple effects—pun absolutely intended.
XRP ETF Approval Odds Soar to 85%
Oh, the excitement! The markets have positively lost their monocles over the new SEC chief, Paul Atkins, who has graciously replaced the notorious Gensler—whose regulatory regime could best be described as “no fun, just rules.”
Atkins’s ascent has ignited hopes for all manner of crypto shenanigans, following a period when anything riskier than a savings bond sent the SEC into Victorian fainting fits.
We now await grand pronouncements: perhaps the unveiling of a Strategic Bitcoin Reserve, or the United States declaring itself the ‘Bitcoin Superpower’ (because world dominance simply isn’t what it used to be).
Eric Balchunas, ETF analyst and professional regulatory tea-leaf reader, has been positively pestering poor Atkins for clues about the long-awaited XRP ETF approval. His partner-in-optimism, Mr. Seyffart, insists the SEC will soon shower blessings on all sorts of altcoin ETFs. “Patience, dear boy, patience!” they cry.
“Would love to hear directly from Atkins, but all good chance of happening,” Balchunas mused, horizontal in his chaise longue.
Balchunas puts XRP’s odds at 85% for a 2025 debut—no word if he’s taking requests for lottery numbers. He released a list of approval probabilities which was possibly drawn up after a spirited lunch at The Savoy.
Seyffart dares suggest approval might be delayed (quelle surprise!). Apparently, for those faint of heart, “Hope” can last beyond October 2025, possibly until you’ve finished reading War and Peace.
“…Final deadlines for most of this stuff is in October 2025 or later,” Seyffart droned, possibly checking his watch.
Still, Balchunas concedes it all hinges on Atkins, who, much like the delayed entrance of a starlet, has finally graced the stage.
“…nothing was going to get approved until Atkins was confirmed…he just got confirmed and they’ve been taking outside meetings with people. Probably coming up with a strategy. After that, likely approvals,” Balchunas remarked, while adjusting his ascot.
Traders are positively itching for more altcoin-based ETFs—anything to make crypto respectable and lure the big-money crowd out of their mahogany boardrooms. Perhaps soon, Bitcoin will edge out gold, and we’ll all start hiding our fortunes in USB drives rather than Swiss vaults. 🚀
ProShares Futures XRP ETP To Begin Trading
Meanwhile, news broke (as it always does) that the SEC had approved an XRP ETF. Alas, the rumors were exaggerated—BeInCrypto killed that buzz faster than a cold shower, clarifying only the leveraged and short XRP futures ETFs are headed to market on April 30. Someone, somewhere, is still crying into their cryptographic pillow.
Nevertheless, optimism abounds. The ProShares XRP futures ETF is enough to get analysts scribbling feverishly about a $100 billion flood into XRP. For reference, that’s roughly what one might spend on champagne for a really decent party.
“A spot XRP ETF could be next, unlocking real demand and sending prices soaring. $100 billion+ could soon flood into XRP,” declared Armando Pantoja, shattering all records for fiscal hyperbole.
Should approval materialize, XRP could surge by nearly 50%, possibly hitting $3.40—a number chosen either for its technical significance or its pleasing symmetry. Some dare whisper that XRP could outshine Ethereum on market cap, but let’s not start any more drama before breakfast.
Charts of the Day
This chart reveals that punters give a 45% chance the SEC will bless the XRP ETF by July 31. In short: perhaps, maybe, if one asks nicely enough. 🎲
Here, Polymarket gamblers see an 80% chance of the SEC’s approval by year-end or sometime in 2025. One hopes they’ve hedged with gin futures just in case.
Crypto Equities Pre-Market Overview
| Company | At the Close of April 29 | Pre-Market Overview |
| Strategy (MSTR) | $381.45 | $379.70 (-0.46%) |
| Coinbase Global (COIN) | $206.13 | $205.69 (-0.21%) |
| Galaxy Digital Holdings (GLXY.TO) | $21.09 | $20.97 (-0.57%) |
| MARA Holdings (MARA) | $14.22 | $14.16 (-0.42%) |
| Riot Platforms (RIOT) | $7.42 | $7.38 (-0.54%) |
| Core Scientific (CORZ) | $8.29 | $8.25 (-0.48%) |
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2025-04-30 16:44