The custodians of FTX’s battered coffers, in a display of financial acrobatics typically reserved for children playing coin-toss in Mayfair, have parted with their stake in Cursor (a contraption for automating the labors of software developers) for a piddling $200,000. This, dear reader, is reminiscent of an aristocrat mistaking the family silver for garden-variety cutlery and pawning it off before breakfast.
The Financial Times, that ever-reliable oracle of financial gaiety and despondency, murmurs that since this lamentable transaction, Cursor—animated by the mysterious workings of Anysphere Inc.—has been plied with $900 million by investors of a caliber who presumably have heard of due diligence. Cursor now reclines atop the dizzying precipice of a $9 billion valuation, sipping champagne in the company of venture capitalists with money to launder, dreams to sell, and, occasionally, software to support.
Cursor, in its current incarnation, offers to “enhance software development,” a phrase that, much like “enhancing one’s gin,” covers a multitude of operations. One directs one’s natural language at it, and—behold!—it generates code, offers suggestions, and even debugs, all atop a version of Visual Studio Code, now so modified it’s hardly recognisable to its own developers. Debugging, the eternal Sisyphean task, now comes with chat support, presumably so you can complain to a machine as you would to your long-suffering IT colleague. 👩💻🤖
The enterprise is, so it’s said, generating $200 million a year in something called “annual recurring revenue,” presumably the kind that recurs because people have signed binding contracts and subsequently lost all means of escape.
FTX’s original stake originated from Alameda Research, that most charmingly reckless of trading outfits, which in 2022 tossed $200,000 into Cursor’s seed round—possibly as casually as one tips a disinterested bellhop. The liquidators, in their infinite wisdom, sold the investment at face value, having apparently failed to consult either their astrologer or a Ouija board for guidance on future valuations.
This is not the liquidators’ debut performance in the theatre of undervaluation: they once dispensed with SUI blockchain contracts for a trivial $1 million, later to watch (presumably through gritted teeth and with copious gin) those assets pirouette up to a $3 billion frenzy. One might consider, in darkest nights, that FTX’s liquidators are in fact secret assets to FTX’s rivals.
Meanwhile, the estate’s fire sale of assets dribbles onward, with hopes of repaying disenchanted customers who would, by this stage, possibly prefer FTX to pay them in Monopoly money just for comedic value. The estate’s attempts at financial recovery have been, to put it kindly, a cautionary tale—should such tales be told at exclusive dinners in Belgravia, and not merely as a punchline. 🍸💸
Read More
- Best Awakened Hollyberry Build In Cookie Run Kingdom
- Top 8 UFC 5 Perks Every Fighter Should Use
- Tainted Grail the Fall of Avalon: Should You Turn in Vidar?
- Nintendo Offers Higher Margins to Japanese Retailers in Switch 2 Push
- Nintendo Switch 2 Confirms Important Child Safety Feature
- Nintendo May Be Struggling to Meet Switch 2 Demand in Japan
- Nintendo Dismisses Report On Switch 2 Retailer Profit Margins
- Best Mage Skills in Tainted Grail: The Fall of Avalon
- Nvidia Reports Record Q1 Revenue
- Switch 2 Sales Soar to Historic Levels
2025-05-07 01:40