Once upon a time—just yesterday in fact—the illustrious Mr. Tim Draper, whose wallet is no doubt so replete it causes gravity to bend in his living room, declared (not whispered, but practically yodeled from the rooftops) that his beloved BTC would saunter up to a modest $250,000 by the close of 2025. And, good heavens, he didn’t stop there! No, not our boy Tim. He confidently foresaw a future where the dollar, looking on like a forgotten actor at his own funeral, would see Bitcoin’s price soar to—wait for it—infinity! 🚀
“If I can pay for my humble pie and council taxes in Bitcoin,” he shouted at some unsuspecting journalist, “what, pray tell, is the purpose of clinging to green, crinkly paper?” Perhaps only to origami hats for bored grandchildren.
Monsieur Draper regaled his audience with tales of Bitcoin’s magnificent armor: better security, charming efficiency, and a trustworthiness that would make even your grandmother’s samovar jealous. Meanwhile, traditional banks had their own tragic operatic run in 2023—first SVB sank, then Signature and Silvergate took a bow and exited stage left. Curtain, applause from the anarchists in the cheap seats.
Suspicion abounds amongst the crypto gentry, with whispers of Operation Chokepoint 2.0—an invisible governmental hand squeezing crypto like a lemon over bureaucratic oysters. 🍋
Our Tim, never short on opinions, delivered a roast of U.S. tariffs under the exciting reign of President Trump. Draper called them “anti-free trade,” which is the fancy way of saying “not a great idea.” He whispered into the wind (and maybe CNBC) that these tariffs puffed up Bitcoin and deflated the once-mighty dollar, which slumped down an 8% hill all the way to 99.96. Someone fetch a cold compress!
Stablecoins, Draper mused, are nothing more than temporary braces on the broken teeth of fiat currency—eventually to be replaced by the dazzling, gap-toothed smile of decentralized Bitcoin. The future? One gigantic, borderless Bitcoin bazaar, where every wallet jingles with unstoppable optimism (and probably way too many emojis). 💸😏
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2025-05-14 06:08