Crypto Chaos: Bitcoin & Friends Play Hide & Seek 🎲🚀

What To Know (Because You Naturally Want to Know):

By Omkar Godbole (ET times are ET unless you find a better timezone to be confused by)

Brace yourselves. The legendary cryptocurrency bull run decided to hit the pause button as Bitcoin (BTC) hit an astronomical high above $110,000. Yes, apparently it’s possible to get bored of money, even digital ones. Meanwhile, for reasons only Wall Street can explain, companies continue to adopt crypto faster than a cat chasing a laser pointer.

In the land of Olaf, Norwegian exchanges are skyrocketing—they bought six BTC worth about $633K, which is roughly enough to buy a fancy coffee and a slightly less fancy sandwich. They plan to acquire more, up to 10 BTC by month’s end, because why not?

Meanwhile, Classover Holdings Inc, sitting comfortably with a market cap of $63 million, has made a deal worth up to $500 million to buy Solana’s native token SOL. That’s one way to make a small fortune—start with a big one!

Ripple’s stablecoin RLUSD has received a Swiss-UAE handshake (plus regulatory approval), ready to tokenize Dubai land—because who doesn’t want their real estate on the blockchain, especially if it’s a desert?

Robinhood, the Robin Hood of modern finance, has acquired crypto exchange Bitstamp for $200 million, invading Europe faster than you can say “spread your wings.”

In the land of baseball bats and pixelated dreams, the US-listed Bitcoin ETFs saw a net fleeing of $268 million on Monday, like a bad breakup. Meanwhile, Ethereum ETFs are happily flowing in for the eleventh day in a row—probably enjoying the stability. Data indicates traders are worried about downside, which is just a fancy way of saying “We’re scared, but still holding.”

Elsewhere, in the mystical East, the Yen slipped a bit after some ex-Bank of Japan official announced they’re not tapering anymore—so much for the “gradual” approach. The US dollar kept limping along, worried about trade uncertainties and the US deficit, while Monday’s manufacturing survey delivered a punch to the belly of the resilient American economy, causing many to wonder if the U.S. has a pulse anymore.

Today’s hot tip (probably): look out for April’s JOLTS report—more job openings, fewer layoffs, and possibly more reasons to keep your toes out of the labor market.

Meanwhile, a US House hearing on “The Future of Digital Assets” was led by Avery Ching, CEO of Aptos Labs, because nothing screams “blockchain revolution” louder than testifying in Washington—stay alert, or you’ll miss the next big thing.

Token Talk (Because Words in Crypto Have a Life of Their Own)

By Oliver Knight

Sky (ex-MakerDAO) rolled out its staking thingy, grabbing a cool $553 million. People love locking things up.
Those investors are earning 16.48% APY—enough to buy quite a few lattes—although it was 38.3% just after launch, so hold your excitement.
Rewards are in USDS stablecoins and depend on the protocol’s performance—kind of like a roller coaster with less screaming.
The SKY token briefly enjoyed a 16% rise from $0.065 to $0.074 in a day that no one quite understands.
Trading volume remains low, indicating most people are staking and not trading—probably background noise for the whales.

Derivatives & Other Fancy Things

HYPE, PEPE, ETH, BNB, and TON are the flavour of the day, with perpetual futures open interests increasing—probably due to someone hitting the “buy” button repeatedly.
Steve from the future asks: “Is this rally sustainable?” Nobody knows, especially not the traders whose futures are acting more like a cautious squirrel.
Futures have cooled a bit—institutions seem to be taking a breather, or perhaps just deciding which way the wind blows.
On Deribit, optimism is mostly confined to March 2021 options, which is nostalgic at best.

Market Movements: The Thrilling Adventure Continues

BTC is up a tiny 0.33% from 4 PM Monday, resting at about $105,292—because even numbers deserve a break.
ETH is enjoying a 3.03% increase, making it the roller coaster’s highlight at $2,618.49.
All the other indices and assets are doing their thing, with some going up, some going down, and the others just there to confuse you.

The dollar index is slightly up, because of reasons.
Gold is slightly happier, with a 0.37% rise, possibly enjoying the chaos.
Silver is sulking, down 0.38%, because silver always has a complex.
Japan’s Nikkei sits unchanged, possibly tired, while Hang Seng is surprisingly enthusiastic with +1.53%.
US markets are mixed bag—some up, some down, nobody quite sure what’s happening anymore.

Bitcoin & Friends Stats (The Numbers You Never Asked For)

Bitcoin dominance is lounging at 64.05%, slightly less confident than before.
Ethereum is gaining ground, with a ratio of 0.02484 against Bitcoin—because everything is relative.
Hashrate stays strong at 922 exahashes per second, probably busy doing complicated math.
Total Fees collected: about half a million dollars—because miners need their coffee too.

Technical Analysis: Magic or Madness?

The ether-bitcoin ratio has formed a symmetrical triangle—no one knows whether it’s a bull or bear breakout, but it looks pretty.
Usually, triangles lead to something bigger, like a bad joke with a punchline.

Crypto Companies & Investments: The People Who Say They Know Better

Strategy (MSTR): closed at $372.27, which is almost enough for a nice dinner.
Coinbase: just a hair above $246—probably waiting to go higher or just doing the same as always.
Others like Galaxy Digital, Riot, and Core Scientific are also playing their part in the grand drama.

ETF Flows & Money Goes When You Least Expect It

Spot Bitcoin ETFs

Net outflows of about $267.5 million—a gentle reminder that nobody loves unconditionally.
Total holdings: approximately 1.2 million BTC, which is probably enough to buy a small island, or a very large yacht.

Spot Ethereum ETFs

Inflows of about $78 million, because everyone loves a little ETH with their morning coffee.

Overnight Flows & Paradoxical Movements

Chart of The Day: Who’s Really Trading?

The chart reveals that less than 45% of the US trading hours are actually spent trading in BTC, ETH, and SOL — so much for work at the office.
Meanwhile, Asian hours are catching up, perhaps because they know something we don’t.

In the Ether: The Never-Ending Saga

Contributions by Francisco Rodrigues, Siamak Masnavi, James Van Straten, and Jamie Crawley—you know, those people who probably spend too much time thinking about digital bits.

2025-06-03 15:12