Oh, darling, what a charming little dance our dear SEC is putting on! They’ve decided that Justin Keener’s faint hope for “decisive evidence” is about as useful as a screen door on a submarine. Evidently, they’re arguing he hasn’t the right—because, naturally, jurisdiction is such a cosy little blanket, isn’t it? 🧐
Meanwhile, the court remains as silent as a church mouse on Keener’s prior plea—probably focussing on less scandalous pursuits, I dare say. The whole affair is about as clear as mud — a theatrical farce in three acts, with gavel poundings and all! 😅
US SEC in a Flustered Fit Over Ripple‘s Courtroom Capers
Late June 4th saw the SEC, in a show of pique, oppose a frivolous little “Emergency Request” by young Mr. Keener, who, I suppose, fancied himself a bit of a detective. The agency’s reasoning? Well, it’s as legal as a lamp-post:
- Jurisdiction? What’s that? The Second Circuit’s still busy with other pressing matters—like deciding whether we’re in a court or a seaside resort.
- Keener, dear boy, didn’t bother to intervene, much less send a telegram. The court is about as keen on extras as a cat on a hot tin roof.
- If evidence is so urgent, why doesn’t our handsome hero share it directly with Ripple? Or are secrets best kept in a locked box? 🔒
As for the grand “investment contract” argument — well, the SEC claims Keener’s evidence wouldn’t shift the tide of the court’s opinion, even if the case were still in its dramatic beginning. How very generous of them, don’t you think? 😉
“Even if this case were still in the summary judgment stage, the SEC respectfully suggests that the ‘evidence’ Mr. Keener now proffers would not materially impact this litigation.”
Lawyerly Lament and the Great Ripple Wait
Though the SEC flirted with dropping the lawsuit in March, the case remains a tantalising tease—like waiting for the souffle to rise. Judge Torres appears to be taking her sweet time, casting delays like confetti at a wedding. Meanwhile, certain lawyers speculate the second circuit might extend the fun another 60 days—because, of course, patience is a virtue, isn’t it? 😏
The countdown is on, darling — only 12 days till the SEC must report, or so I’ve heard. Something theatrical is bound to happen, or we’ll have a flurry of briefs and drama enough to put a soap opera to shame. 🎭
— bill morgan (@Belisarius2020) June 4, 2025
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2025-06-05 12:23