Crypto Catastrophe: $621 Million Vanishes Amid Trump-Musk Circus šŸ¤”šŸ’ø

Bitcoin Crash Illustration

Oh, what a tragic spectacle! Bitcoin’s price, once soaring like a majestic dragon, now flutters downward, all because Trump and Musk are throwing a tantrum in the grand theater of politics. The scene is set: a trillion-dollar dispute that could make even the gods blink in disbelief.

In the last few hours, the oligarchs of Twitter and the grand pooh-bah in the White House have exchanged threats that would make Shakespeare’s villains blush. Trump, in his infinite wisdom, dares threaten to slash Musk’s subsidies—perhaps thinking he’s still in a game of Monopoly—while Musk, not to be outdone, whispers dark secrets about the President’s connection to Jeffrey Epstein. Oh, the scandals and the comedy! šŸŽ­

The chaos has sent the markets into a frenzy: Tesla’s shares plummet 14%, shaking the very ground beneath the wealthy elite’s feet, while Bitcoin, that unpredictable beast, has tumbled from a spectacular $105,733 to a modest $100,900—probably considering a better career as a limbo dancer.

According to the oracle, Coinglass, a staggering $621.55 million has evaporated into the ether in just four hours—a sum so absurd that it could buy a small country (or at least a very fancy yacht). Such liquidity bloodbath! šŸ’§šŸ’°

All this pandemonium ignited from Musk’s fiery opposition to the republican tax-and-spending extravaganza, which, two weeks ago, strutted triumphantly through the House, greeted with horns and fireworks. Musk called it a ā€œdisgusting abominationā€ā€”a phrase that surely echoes through the halls of satire and despair.

The Congressional Budget Office, those kindly humorists, estimate that this legislative monstrosity will add between $2.4 and $5 trillion to the national debt, bringing us ever closer to a fiscal abyss where even angels fear to tread.

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2025-06-06 01:12