A Week of Crypto Chaos: SEC Chair’s Rebellion and Bank Coins Galore!

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Acting SEC chair rejects enforcement, first US bank-issued stablecoin, Bitcoin’s four-year cycle at a crossroads, and more in this Week in Review.

Week in Review

Our dear Acting SEC Chair Uyeda, a man clearly familiar with the concept of rule-making (as opposed to rule-breaking, which is best left to our favorite politicians), has proclaimed that clarity is essential. He’s advocating for rulemaking over enforcement—let’s hope he’s not expecting a round of applause from the industry. Oh, and speaking of applause, the first U.S. bank-issued stablecoin has flopped onto Ethereum, like a cat with a bad landing. Bitcoin’s price is sitting there, looking as flat as my attempt at dieting, leading to a new debate: is the traditional four-year halving cycle simply a relic? In other news, 76% of U.S. investors plan to boost their crypto ETF holdings—because nothing screams ‘wisdom’ like chasing after the latest shiny thing. Finally, in a plot twist befitting a daytime soap, the Senate has decided to give a monumental “nope” to an IRS rule targeting DeFi developers, and now we’re just waiting for a Trump signature—because who doesn’t love a good cliffhanger?

Acting SEC Chair Rejects Enforcement—Demands Real Crypto Rules

The acting SEC chair boldly declared, “Let there be rules”—and just like that, he must have felt the exhilarating rush of clarity whizzing past him like a scooter on the sidewalk. He insists on sorting out crypto regulations to solve the courtroom confusion… read more.

Editor’s comment: Businesses and potential businesses everywhere are obviously thrilled with Uyeda’s oh-so-reliable message of rule-making. It’s like telling a kid not to eat the cookie jar—except now it comes with a manual!

First US Bank-Issued Stablecoin on Permissionless Blockchain Goes Live

The world turns as the inaugural tokenization of U.S. dollar bank deposits on Ethereum takes place—breaking news that truly spells a seismic shift in the financial landscape. Prepare for the inevitable wailing of traditionalists… read more.

Editor’s comment: Picture a future where stablecoins are issued, transferred, and redeemed faster than you can say “regulatory compliance.” Is this sci-fi or reality? Stick around to find out!

Bitcoin’s Four-Year Cycle at Crossroads: Is the Halving Rally Dead?

Bitcoin’s price held steady last Thursday, which sparked the latest round of spirited debates—sort of like arguing about whether pineapple belongs on pizza. Analysts wonder if the once-revered four-year halving rally is gasping for breath… read more.

Editor’s comment: The unflattering graph titled “Bitcoin Price After Halvings” in the above article gives us all the suspense of a bad slasher film. Will we escape unscathed?

Survey Says 76% of US Investors Plan to Boost Crypto ETF Holdings in Coming Year

Financial services firm Brown Brothers Harriman (BBH) graced us with the results of its survey, revealing that 76% of U.S. investors plan to increase their crypto ETF holdings. In terms of new trends, this is the financial version of wearing white after Labor Day—shocking! read more.

Editor’s comment: Just a friendly reminder that spot bitcoin ETFs are still that shiny, new toy. You know they’re going to become all the rage soon, much to the chagrin of your older, gray-haired relatives.

Crypto Rule Repeal Hits Trump’s Desk—Massive Regulatory Rollback Imminent

The Senate, in a moment of clarity that can only come from sheer panic, voted 70-28 to obliterate an IRS rule aimed at DeFi developers—ushering in what can only be described as a spectacular crypto victory. History books will remember this day… read more.

Editor’s comment: As soon as Trump scratches his name on this, let’s cross our fingers that stablecoin legislation doesn’t become another political football!

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2025-03-30 18:34