Altcoins Tremble: Binance’s Axe Falls – One Soars Like a Drunk Phoenix 🦄💥

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Lo and behold! The colossal colossus of crypto, Binance-whose every cough sends tremors through the blockchain bazaar-has once again lifted its mighty delisting guillotine. And who lies beneath this time? Poor Flamingo (FLM), the once-proud Kadena (KDA), and the perpetually confused Perpetual Protocol (PERP). 🪓🪦

As panic ensued and lesser mortals scrambled for exit doors, a miracle unfolded: FLM, the flaming-well, bird-rose from the ashes not with quiet dignity, but with a 19.7% shriek of joy, flapping its wings in the face of financial gravity. Meanwhile, KDA stumbled like a poet in winter, and PERP merely blinked, as if unsure what just happened. 🎭

When the Executioner Sets a Date: Delisting Timeline

The calendar of doom has been published! As of November 12, 2025, at 03:00 UTC, the spot trading of these three digital souls shall cease. Deposits? Rejected after November 13. Withdrawals? A distant memory by January 12, 2026. One might say Binance isn’t just breaking up with them-it’s changing its name and moving to a new blockchain. 🔐

“The spot trading pair(s) of the aforementioned token(s) will be removed. All trade orders will be automatically removed after trading ceases…” – a statement so calm, one might think they’re discussing tea blends, not financial executions. ☕🫖

And like a tragic opera with too many acts, the suffering begins in phases: Copy Trading bows out on November 5-presumably because no one wants to copy a suicide note. Margin trading ends November 4, borrowing stops October 30. The mining pool? Shutting shop November 4. Convert services? Gone after November 6. So many deadlines, one wonders if Binance runs an exchange or a dystopian university. 📅💀

Futures, however, shall persist-because where else will gamblers go? Yet Binance, ever the cautious soothsayer, warns: “additional risk management measures” may apply. Translation: “We’ll let you keep gambling, but we’re raising the table stakes.” 🎲🔥

This purge comes not from malice, dear reader, but from Binance’s sacred “periodic review”-a mystical ritual where unseen elders assess: team vigor, code activity, trading volume, liquidity, network security, transparency, and whether anyone at the project still answers emails. If a token fails, it is not killed-it is “liberated from liquidity.” 🧘‍♂️⛓️

“We periodically review… to ensure high standards. If a coin fails, we may delist it. Our priority is user protection and adapting to market dynamics.” – Binance, speaking like a robot who read a self-help book. 🤖📚

Market Reacts: Tragedy, Comedy, and One Unhinged Farce

KDA, already bleeding from the prior news of its organization’s existential crisis, took another dagger to the heart-down 3.43%. One wonders if it even noticed. The project’s trajectory resembles less a crypto token and more a dying star collapsing into regulatory oblivion. 🌌⚫

PERP, that humble servant of Ethereum’s Layer 2, Optimism, dipped a polite 1.37%, as if tipping its hat on the way out. “Pleased to have served,” it murmured, vanishing into the ether-not the coin, just the air. 🌀

But FLM-oh, FLM! Defying logic, liquidity, and basic economic decency, it soared 19.7% post-announcement. Was it confidence? Delusion? Or perhaps the last, desperate pump before the plunge? 📈🤡

This is not without precedent. Recall Alpaca Finance (ALPACA), which galloped 71% upward after its own delisting-like a horse celebrating its return to the glue factory. Analysts whispered of manipulation, bots, and possibly witchcraft. 🧙‍♂️

“Binance will delist FLM on Nov 12, 2025, yet the token spiked… Big pumps often mean big risk,” warned a sage Twitter ghost. Or possibly a bot. Who knows anymore. 👻

And so we see: delisting, that grand theatrical production, plays out differently for each actor. KDA weeps. PERP shrugs. FLM does jazz hands.

In the end, the market remains what it has always been: a carnival of hopes, rumors, and fools who buy tickets thinking they’ll win the stuffed bear. 🎪🧸

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2025-10-29 08:08