Arthur Hayes Buys Back ETH at Higher Prices, Swears on Pinky 🤳

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Ah, the world of crypto, where fortunes are made and lost faster than a butler can polish a silver teapot. BitMEX co-founder and Bitcoin billionaire Arthur Hayes has once again graced us with his financial acrobatics-this time involving Ethereum. Just a week after selling a hefty chunk of Ether, he’s back in the game, buying it all back at a higher price. One might wonder if this is a stroke of genius or simply the universe’s way of saying, “Gotcha!” 😅

Onchain data reveals that Hayes offloaded 2,373 Ether (ETH), worth roughly $8.32 million, when the token was trading near $3,507. A tidy profit, you say? Indeed! But as fate would have it, Ether decided to throw a little party shortly thereafter, rallying like there’s no tomorrow. And what does our intrepid trader do? He marches right back in, armed with $10.5 million in USDC, ready to scoop up ETH at prices above $4,150. That’s right, folks-he paid more to get back in than he sold for. Ah, the sweet smell of remorse… or is it ambition? 🤔

In true Wodehouseian fashion, Hayes took to X (formerly Twitter) to pen a note of contrition: “Had to buy it all back, do you forgive me @fundstrat?” he quipped, tagging Tom Lee, the co-founder and head of research at FS Insight by Fundstrat. For good measure, he added, “I pinky swear, I’ll never take profit again.” Oh, the drama! If only Jeeves were here to offer sage advice about sticking to one’s resolutions-or at least sticking to investments that don’t require such elaborate apologies. 🤝

But wait, there’s more! Last week, Hayes-who also moonlights as chief investment officer of Maelstrom Fund-issued a warning straight out of a Dickens novel: mounting macroeconomic pressures could send Bitcoin tumbling toward $100,000. Gasp! The culprit? Renewed tariff fears following a dismal July Non-Farm Payrolls report, which showed an underwhelming 73,000 new US jobs. Combine that with sluggish credit growth, and voilà-you’ve got yourself a recipe for potential doom. Or at least a dip in crypto prices. Hayes even predicted Ether might slide back to $3,000. Cue ominous thunderclap. ⚡️

Fearing the worst, Hayes liquidated over $13 million worth of crypto assets, including $8.32 million in ETH, $4.62 million in Ethena (ENA), and $414,700 in Pepe (PEPE). One can almost picture him, monocle firmly in place, muttering, “Better safe than sorry,” while the market laughs maniacally in the background. 😈

Meanwhile, institutions appear to be playing a different tune altogether. Since July 10, a cluster of unknown whales and institutional investors has quietly amassed over 1.035 million ETH, valued at approximately $4.17 billion. This buying spree coincided with Ethereum’s impressive rally, which saw its price leap from $2,600 to $4,000-a 45% increase-in just a month. Talk about timing! According to EmberCN, these deep-pocketed buyers likely include institutions or US public companies building ETH reserves. Their average acquisition price? A cool $3,546 per token. Bravo, chaps! 👏

And so, dear reader, we find ourselves amidst the ever-whirling carousel of cryptocurrency chaos, where pinky promises are made, fortunes are squandered, and institutions sweep in like dukes at a garden party. Will Hayes’ latest gambit pay off? Only time-and perhaps a few more tweets-will tell. Until then, let us raise a glass (or a teacup) to the unpredictable dance of digital gold. Cheers! 🥂

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2025-08-09 15:51