Ray Dalio

Enter 0x58bro: the crypto world’s equivalent of that quiet person in the office who owns three Teslas and never talks. Arkham analytics spotted them posting about millions in profit on X. Shockingly, they have only 1,700 followers. Yes, really. Proof that influence is overrated when your spreadsheets are savage.

The crypto market decided to be “chill” on Thursday. Bitcoin and ether (ETH) each managed to gain less than 1%, as investors took a coffee break after Wednesday’s hype-fueled breakout.

Now, gather round, for the tale of Chamath Palihapitiya, a fellow who’s made a packet as a venture capitalist and once toiled at Facebook (before it became Meta, or whatever they’re calling it these days). This chap has taken it upon himself to declare bitcoin’s “structural failing,” which, he claims, will prevent it from becoming the darling of governments and central banks. Bold words, what?

Today, crypto analyst Michaël van de Poppe, ever the eternal optimist, spotted something noteworthy. Bitcoin has hit a crucial resistance level, and though he’s not expecting an immediate breakout, he was bold enough to declare the short-term trend switch to be “the most vital trend switch we’ve seen since 10/10.” A bold statement, indeed.

Yet, let us not be swayed by the theatrics of numbers. The 666, while theatrically ominous, is but a symbol-a wink from the universe, or perhaps a middle finger. Traders, ever the superstitious lot, have scrambled to take positions, their fingers twitching like cats at a mouse hole. Volatility, that fickle mistress, has begun her dance, and the Shiba Inu, ever the performer, is center stage.

As of the latest update, with ETH currently sitting at $2,102, it reached a heady high of $2,198 during the mad dash of the March 4 U.S. trading session. The cause of this ruckus? Why, none other than Bitcoin’s charming recovery above $70,000. A classic case of one crypto’s rise giving the others a lovely little lift.